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irina S

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About irina S

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    belmar nj

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    belmar nj

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  1. never did i drink,smoke.drugs..never will start doing that.. but i keep hoping get those years time faster ive been search how to make 10 or 20 years go by fast.. a person said you don't know when or how you going to pass.. i am hurry to be next to my hubby. but i will never hurt myself to do it after all you and i and rest people are here even though we alllll want to go from this earth and be with our spouses.. if we really wanted to go already we would done something bad.. i do love my furrybabies so much they soo comform and great love companion and keep me busy till i miss and love my hubby so much its dragging me here that us have to be here as people would say we have to finish our business before leaving this earth.. i do have health problems even before i met hubby so hoping it will get wrost so i can go sooner already.
  2. I hate hate waiting time here i am already counting on my head how many more years till i can finally pass so i can be with my hubby i already have plot i have the urge to go now we did the pre paid burial thing before he pass he has his already and i have my plot but i can't stay sometimes no long and waiting to move and speed along the years to whatever i will pass.. I read and spoke some people the god posted marked each of us already when we going die i wish i knew from god what my age to die will be i need to know the number when i will pass already. I am doing on search like my year i was born and year how long i will be like ???? + 2030? or 2090 i know i wont live 3000 lol alll of us here will wont be here by 3000 i am trying not think about maybe the time will go by fast bc soon will be 2019 then 2020.. Do any of you count the days to go by faster. my religious beilef is if you do bad to yourself you wont able see your spouse in long long time.. so i try not to do anything to myself but if you pass from illness or natural causes or anything you will see your spouse.. do you ever wonder what age you will pass that god marked you in.
  3. sorry cookies.. i love my furrybabies sooo much they great companion they never leave your side.. and comfort when other don't care about our grief of our spouses who pass.. ..kayc did you cat tiger came back? maybe leave food and water it might come back..
  4. i had few times when my hubby visit me and woke up felt sooo good but then felt depression when reality hit me hes not really alive.. i love sleep sleep more its only way i can dream about us and him visit me..
  5. kayc i would like join your widow since after all its strictly for widow i like that is it online or you have to meet i am not able travel to far at all i am disable and have my cousin take me stores and pharmacy pick up my meds or she does everything and have me go to doctor appts or a van transport does for me ...
  6. kayc... i did mention he pass away a year ago has pass for me but it wont matter how many years i will always feel raw the day he passaway i will still feel same always will be.. i try not think about hurt myself bc in my beliefs its against religious cuz i wouldnt be with him when my time comes really....so yea he pass away a year ago.....i love what you said.. We don't leave our spouse behind, we bring them with us ..... of course we can talk and see them in our dreams when they visit i saw him many many times when im sleeping he comes in my dream.. i too judyk.. get soo depression and already depression since i was a kid...plus grief depression.. im surprise none of us died of heart broken grief.. my god mom pass away in 2012 cause her hubby was ill pass in 2011 she couldn't live without him so she pop pills her daughter told me this and pass away from heart failure but she was sooo health she did on purpose my god mom so she can be with her hubby and she did she and hubby wanted be cremation together that what her daughter did i miss my god mom soooo much but i understood she wanted to be with her hubby. Well she got what she wanted my god mom and now she and her hubby are together in heaven.
  7. hi all... I join many widow grief site it help me talk to others that related what us widow goes thru when losing a spouse our soulmate.. before he pass away we pre paid plots so when my time comes i can be next to him but i want it now.. i don't want wait it's been a year for me and i have our golden dog & cat who both my companionship love them sooo much... my furrybaby dog she not doing health wise she is 13 yr old.. i will for sure adopt more dog and cat to love them and care for them & they keep me busy somewhat and great companion.. i don't want remarry nor get into other relationship. My hubby is number one and he pass away from colon cancer stage 4..i talk to him daily i mean daily to him we both believe in spirit.. i still wear my marriage ring and when we put him in casket i put items he told me to put and i put his marriage ring as well. I try support groups they don't work its not widow support groups its all kind of loss.. i do have friends my best friend i know from online 2008 she was there for me we talk and email.. but i need my husband in earth. i am counting the days,week,months, years until i can finally be with him.. do you count as well?..do you think of your spouse 24/7... i'm avid reader and go to library and try still busy.. i have all his stuff i never remove and never will he share with me musics,vids, we took pics, i record our voice,vids of each other. we took pics, i am not enjoying life without him. it's hard.. i love being computer it somewhat helps i do things that i enjoy but long days is dragging me down without him in bed with me.. my furrybabies keep me comfort and alot kissing and cuddles. I visit his grave and put things like for his bday and our annvis... i vist my sis in law in nuring home i go shopping.. i feel smooth when visiting his grave it. i love him and him only. i don't want move on and hate when people say that to widow. my friend don't say it she not widow but knows better. I need my husband i read books about spirit and they give me sign i had him visit me during my sleep.
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