hi all...
I join many widow grief site it help me talk to others that related what us widow goes thru when losing a spouse our soulmate.. before he pass away we pre paid plots so when my time comes i can be next to him but i want it now.. i don't want wait it's been a year for me and i have our golden dog & cat who both my companionship love them sooo much... my furrybaby dog she not doing health wise she is 13 yr old.. i will for sure adopt more dog and cat to love them and care for them & they keep me busy somewhat and great companion.. i don't want remarry nor get into other relationship. My hubby is number one and he pass away from colon cancer stage 4..i talk to him daily i mean daily to him we both believe in spirit.. i still wear my marriage ring and when we put him in casket i put items he told me to put and i put his marriage ring as well. I try support groups they don't work its not widow support groups its all kind of loss.. i do have friends my best friend i know from online 2008 she was there for me we talk and email.. but i need my husband in earth. i am counting the days,week,months, years until i can finally be with him.. do you count as well?..do you think of your spouse 24/7... i'm avid reader and go to library and try still busy.. i have all his stuff i never remove and never will he share with me musics,vids, we took pics, i record our voice,vids of each other. we took pics, i am not enjoying life without him. it's hard.. i love being computer it somewhat helps i do things that i enjoy but long days is dragging me down without him in bed with me.. my furrybabies keep me comfort and alot kissing and cuddles. I visit his grave and put things like for his bday and our annvis... i vist my sis in law in nuring home i go shopping.. i feel smooth when visiting his grave it. i love him and him only. i don't want move on and hate when people say that to widow. my friend don't say it she not widow but knows better. I need my husband i read books about spirit and they give me sign i had him visit me during my sleep.