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About CairnLady

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    Advanced Member

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    Frankfort, Ky

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
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  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:

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  1. Happy Birthday Peace and health be with you.
  2. kayc Unfortunately, I do not know the original source. it was sent to me in an email from another widow who runs a widows meetup group in NJ and simply said she saw it as part of the obituary for an unknown woman’s husband some time ago.
  3. Thought this was very beautiful and moving. As Darrel so eloquently stated, faith and hope are free..... Wet eyes alert.... Together In Heaven My dearest friends and family there are things I'd like to say: first of all I'll let you know I arrived here safe today. I am sending word from heaven where I'll dwell with God above; there are no tears and sorrow, there is only peace and love. I had to leave you as my time on earth was through; loved ones waited for me just as I will wait for you. God gave me many tasks he wishes me to do; high up on the list is watching over all of you. Don't think I do not hear you because I am out of sight; remember I am with you every morning, noon and night. When your load gets heavy don't cry too many tears; then I can whisper to you what you will need to hear. I always will be near you to guide you through each day; remember when you need me I am just a thought away. Our love will build a highway and our memories a lane; I'll walk right down from heaven and be with you again. Remember when you miss me and I am on your mind; although you will not see me I'll be just a step behind. When your life on earth is over and your soul is finally free; believe me when I tell you, you'll be coming home with me."
  4. I too hope that 2019 is a better year for all of us. Darrel, my thoughts and prayers go out to you this day, which I know is so terribly hard for you. I too had to make that decision and sign those papers. In a few days it will be two and a half years for me. I have yet to make it through an entire day without crying an ocean of tears. My mountain of anxiety starts in the early hours each day, and soon thereafter the tsunami of grief comes and gut punches me in to the abyss where I flounder, reliving those horrible events. Some days I can climb out in a relatively short time, other days it’s an all day battle. Only in the late afternoon and evenings am I mostly ok, most likely because I am simply exhausted emotionally. It is my hope again for this year (as it was for 2018) that I can finally get to a place where I can make it through a day without tears. I didn’t make it today. Dear Lord, I pray, please help us all find peace, comfort, and the strength to carry our grief each day.
  5. My wish for all of us is a measure of peace and solace.
  6. CairnLady

    My Prayer...

    Darrel, That is such a wonderful photo.
  7. All this time I never even noticed that “Donate” button, so thank you Marty T for this post. I just made a donation and glad to do it.
  8. I’m so glad you’re here kayc...the years have given you an insight and wisdom that I cherish. I am still very much a cork lost in the ocean, and your words offer hope to me when I have little. Your advice on finding something good in each day is an example, and I have made it a practice for myself each day.
  9. CairnLady

    It hurts so bad

    Amy, I’m so very sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you and your children. I too lost my beloved husband suddenly and traumatically in July 2016. Your grief is so raw and overwhelming at this point. When you feel you have the strength, I would like to suggest a book that I found to be most valuable to me on my grief journey. “I Wasn’t Ready To Say Goodbye - surviving, coping, & healing after the sudden death of a loved one” My prayers for you and your children.
  10. CairnLady

    Solitary Grief

    Darrel, Thank you for sharing that, so very beautiful!
  11. I too would like to give thanks for all of you here. I’ve gained much in the way of understanding that I am not “wrong”, and that I have every right to grieve in my own way and in my own time. I recognize myself in one way or another in so many posts I read, and gain the bit of strength I need each day to press on. For each and every one of us I pray: May we all be healthy May we all be safe May we all find peace May we all have some happiness in our lives.
  12. I too was totally abandoned by family and friends after my beloved Michael was ripped away from me, and I too had a long list of some of the nastiest things said to me. To these people it was like I had lost my keys. Here’s a small sample of unsolicited “expert opinions” (The “experts” of course are people who have never suffered a major loss in their self absorbed lives) that I’ve been subjected to: I need to fix myself. Did I expect people to drop everything just because Michael died? I’m too emotional. I need to get a boyfriend I need to “pull myself out of it” They (the “experts”) don’t know who I am anymore. I have removed these idiots from my life forever and will never have anything to do with them again. It wasn’t hard since they weren’t there for me anyway, and never would be.
  13. CairnLady

    Delayed Grief

    I read this comment in a post online from someone about a year ago, and it really struck me because it is exactly how I felt, and still feel. I recognized myself completely, as I do in all of your posts, but am not always able to articulate my feelings...... ”My heart and my mind ride around in this empty shell that used to be me....”
  14. Oh, I forgot to mention that’s it’s free to light a candle.