Di Fw

Thank you for sending the article Marty. Much appreciated.

Hello Thank you very much for sending the links to me. My husband is a good person but just not the sensitive type at all, and would not ever consider going to a counselor with me. i have tried talking to him but no more, I will now work through this life changing event, and will somehow get there. Having people like yourself to talk to who really understand is really wonderful. I read somewhere that once you lose a mother, child or partner it is like walking around with sunglasses on, nothing ever looks the same again. I am sad, but positive in life and am looking forward to the day I meet up with my beautiful mother again. I hope that your week has been a good one, I am really happy that it is Friday tomorrow, then the weekend for us to relax and enjoy. Wishing you a good weekend as well. Sending hugs and happy thoughts your way. Thanks again for your message.

Hi there Yes, people do think that you should be over it. Unless they have suffered a loss themselves, they have no idea of what life is like for someone who has been through it and how very different it will always be for us, moving forward. I am sorry you can't pick up the phone and call your mother, or go and see her, I know exactly how that feels and how difficult that must be for you. Our mothers are the ones who ask us how we are and they really mean it, they are proud of us and show it it so many ways. I miss that. I too suffer from night blindness, and avoid driving at night as much as I possibly can. Relationships definitely do change after we lose a loved one, friends and for me even my relationship with my husband. He was very supportive initially, but now does feel that I should be stronger, much happier, getting over it, and coping much better. My mom only passed away four months ago. I therefore now, do not often show him or tell him how I am actually feeling. Well as we both said, there are always things in life to be thankful for. If we look for them, the are definitely there! : ) I hope that your weekend is a good one. Thanks for your messages. Wishing you the very best with everything moving forward.

Hi there, Thank you for your message and kind words. It must be really difficult for you losing your life partner at such a young age. So many years ahead without him by your side and especially as you were saying that your family generally live well into your 90's. And yes, you are so right, taking it one day at a time is so much easier to do, than thinking of coping for years to come. How long have you been on your own now? Do you work full time, I was just wondering. I found that I didn't want to go back to work and face people again after my mom died, but it actually does help to be busy during the day and focus on what needs to be done and sorted out for everyone. . People in the workplace were sympathetic initially, but not for long, they too have lives and they soon forget about how you are feeling. I have one woman at work who also lost her husband like you, three years ago, and she still calls me up once a month, and we have coffee together and she always asks me how I am coping and doing. I can do the same for her, which is good. Well, I wish you a good day, and a good rest of the week. It is lovely chatting to you, it really is. Thanks again for taking the time to message me, I appreciate it. Thinking of you and sending best wishes and hugs your way!

Hi KayC Thank you for your post and for your words of comfort I appreciate it very much. Yes, I do look forward to the day that I meet up with my mother again, and believe that somehow it will happen. There is more to life than we understand. Right now it is just the thought of the years ahead on earth that I have without her, that I am still really battling to come to terms with. I am generally a very happy and positive person, and am trying to see the beauty in everyday things and be thankful for what I do have in my life. Some days though, it is still so tough and the waves come crashing down on me and I feel like I am in this big void and have this major feeling of pain and emptiness, it leaves me feeling exhausted. It does help talking to people like yourself who have experienced the same, and who can remind me that it will get easier with time. I have started gardening and have made a special area for her out on our patio, where she used to sit when she visited me. I have also done up one of my bedrooms with a desk for myself and put up various photos of her. Another special place for my mother. Thank you again for your message, I was so happy when I saw that someone else had taken the time to respond and reply to me. It is people like you and others on this forum that make a difference in our lives and give us hope and keep us going. THANK YOU. Wishing you the very best. Di

Hi there thank you so much for you post in response to what i had posted. That is so sad that you have suffered so many losses of people close to you, life sometimes is just not fair and just cannot be explained. I appreciate your comments and your post. I wish you peace and love through your journey as well. With love and appreciation. Diane

Hello Marty I am so glad that I found your website with this forum. Thank you for taking the time to register me and to respond to my post with your kind words.. Reading what people think, the comforting words, and what people are going through as well, does help one. It make you realize that you are not so alone in what you are feeling and experiencing and that people on this forum really do understand. It was a lovely feeling arriving home last night to see that there were messages waiting for me that had been sent. Thanks to you and to all for sending.

Thank you so much for responding to my post, it helps a lot to know that there are people out there who do not know me, but who care. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. To connect with people like you means the world to me. Thank you. And yes, I sometimes think that perhaps my mom was hanging in there , waiting for me to leave, so she could too make her departure from this earth. So thank you for suggesting that is what you thought as well. Thank you for your kind words and for your prayers. Much love, Diane

My beautiful, lively, happy, energetic mother died suddenly. She got up during the night, fell and bumped her head, and went into a coma. She did not wake up. She was in a coma for three weeks and then died. Only those who have lost a loved one, will understand the immense feeling of pain and isolation that comes with grief. She was due to move to the USA this year, I had found her a small apartment as she liked to be independent, found doctors for her to visit and was preparing for her big move. I was ecstatic to say the least and so was she. We both could not wait for the big day talking place this year. On February the 5th she fell, I received a call and immediately made plans to fly to South Africa. I sat at her bed daily for two weeks, talking to her telling her how much we all loved her, and willing her to wake up. The surgeon treating her suggested that I fly back home and said it would be weeks before she woke up. He said he would keep in touch and let me know the minute she starting showing signs of waking, he said this would be best, and I could then fly back. I have a job, I paid her medical insurance and her bills, and so made the tough decision of returning to the USA to commence work. I spoke to my mother, promised her I would be back, as soon as she awoke. A week later I received a call, my precious mother was not going to make the next few hours they said, she died soon after the call. I have such feelings of guilt, why didn't I stay a week longer, why did I listen to the Doctor and return home? I should have been there at her side when she died. I I just feel so angry, and so sad that she was taken so suddenly, and at the point where she was due to move and live close to where I am. We were going to do so much together, had so much more to see and do, but that is now gone and not to be.