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widow'15

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About widow'15

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    wife
  • Date of Death
    04/08/2015
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    N/A

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Tacoma, WA

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  1. Gwen: Oboy do I hear you. Golden years is now a four letter word as far as I am concerned . My MIL used to refer to it as the "Rusty Years". I had to chuckle as you described all the pillows to make sure the old bones don't ache if we should actually fall asleep. I sometimes wonder should I have to jump out of bed in a hurry I wouldn't be able to untangle myself from the pillows in time. Keeping you in my thoughts as you get through each day. Sounds like you did make it today. Hugs, Dee
  2. Mark: So sorry to read you have had to suffer another loss so soon after losing your Susie. Keeping you in my thoughts. Dee
  3. Gwen: Good to hear the appointment with your shrink was bearable and you survived the drive to and from his office. I can imagine you are relieved the medication was refilled. My today turned out to be an adventure in spite of my almost cancelling out. Maddie had me up three times last night plus having to get up for myself once, I was dragging. My son picked me up and we went to my 8 year old granddaughter's basketball game. Holy Moly, have not been around such commotion and noise for ages. The game didn't last very long, and once home again I was glad I didn't cancel. I think it did me good to be around a mob of people again. That's the human contact you're talking about, Gwen. I learned firsthand how an old lady with a cane demands preference. I haven't taken my cane out before but since I wasn't sure of the terrain, and my knees are weakening, I thought it best to bring it with. People actually stepped aside and/or held the door for me. I guess I learned there is something positive about getting old. LOL And now, I am babbling, too. Take care. Dee
  4. Kieron: I hear you when you say, "This house is too large", and "Where do I go?" I am in the same situation. I do know that I don't want to stay in my home another year even though it will be painful to leave. The maintenance is too much of a worry and it is not fair to expect my son to help, who lives an hour away and has a job and family. At 78 years old, I don't find the energy to keep the yard maintained. Like your roommate concerns, I don't like the idea of hiring maintenance people coming in and out of my home. At least you have gotten a head start on downsizing.....which is mind boggling for me. I wish you the best on whatever you decision will be. Dee
  5. Abas: I totally understand what you are saying. The pain of seeing couples going about their lives together is what causes me to have to look away from them or they will see the tears running down my face. I wish there was some way to take away this feeling of being cheated, but I don't think there is an easy solution. It is just another part of this miserable grief road we have to walk. I don't ever wish to take anything away from those couples who are enjoying their lives together, I just wish I still had the feeling of love and comfort once again from that special man that I was married to for 50+ years. Your joining this forum and sharing your feelings will hopefully help you face your days. Please know you are not alone. Many of us here have voiced your words and feelings. Warm thoughts, Dee
  6. Gwen and kayc: The first time I heard the term "new normal" I wanted to scream, there is no such thing as "Normal" anymore. Dee
  7. George: Add another 5 year veteran to this Grief pathway come April. I don't know if this 5 year anniversary is more painful or if it's just that I am five years older and less able to endure the daily pain that comes as my old body and mind deteriorates. Keeping you George, and all of you in my thoughts. Dee
  8. Gwen: Your constant pain will not be relieved by Tylenol and aspercreme. My 78 year old achy bones don't notice any relief with Tylenol. My daughter has spent 16+ years dealing with a bad back due to a blown out disc, degenerative disc disease, and two back surgeries where she has had to rely on heavy opiods. I know I told you she recently had a pain pump surgically installed into her body. It has been months of appointments and slow progress coming down off the opiods. Luckily she has the support of a husband to get her to the point that she has finally been able to actually take a 3 day vacation after all these years. I understand what you are saying about constant pain - I have watched her live such a sad depressing life for so many years totally dependent on taking the heavy opiods. But, now she is tethered to this pump that has to be monitored and filled every 3 months. My heart hurts for you and hope some solution will give you some relief and soon. Hugs, Dee
  9. Gwen: Good to hear the garage door is fixed and you have found help with keeping yard picked up. That will give you some needed rest. Within time you will be able to do it on your own if you want. Like kayc said, you are making GIANT strides arranging your new routine. Oh yes, "One Day @ a Time" and I might have to add a little more to my "One Day @ a Time and Do At Least One Thing Each Day". Unlike you, I dread having to get in my car and leave the house on any day. But, there are always those things that can't be shelved too long. A dear neighbor who recently moved from the neighborhood, always had her glass of wine for "medicinal purposes" before bedtime. Whatever works to keep us able to move forward, and I think a good nights rest is the only way to function. Hugs, Dee
  10. Gwen: Here I go giving you information you may have already thought about. The last time my daughter visited she was walking Maddie in my neighborhood and got into a conversation with a Uber Food Delivery person. I had never heard about such a thing so was intrigued that you can get meals from a restaurant delivered by Uber. Am assuming it is more pricey than a drive thru but might fill the bill once in awhile. Also, just today I ordered some meds for Maddie from Chewy.com. If your dogs need ongoing meds this might work for you. You order on line, provide the vets name and address and once prescription is approved by vet, the meds are mailed to your home. The first time I ordered I was surprised how quickly I received the prescription and it was actually cheaper than purchased from the vet. Just suggestions for you. Keeping you in my thoughts. Hugs, Dee
  11. Seems like all of us are having "Murphy's Law" issues: Marg: As you drive your sister to her appointment fearing floods. Hope you both arrived safely and are home by now. Gwen: Good Luck getting used to your new routine. Hope the PT nurse found you capable to take care of yourself in your home. You seem to be managing although I know it is not an easy task. The other night during a wind storm I lost power and as I rummaged around looking for candles I could only worry about what would I do if the power was off overnight and I couldn't get out of my garage to take Maddie to her appointment. I know there is a rope that one is supposed to pull, but I don't have enough strength to open a jar of jam for my peanut butter sandwich, how could I possible pull a rope to open a garage door? Hoping you find someone to repair your garage door. Kayc: As you look out for your sister's COPD issues. Karen: Hooray for being released from jury duty - you are the lucky one at the moment. I totally understand how it feels to walk those long hallways as well as driving any distance. Each time I go out anywhere in my car, which is seldom, I say a little prayer that I will be able to find a parking space close to where I need to go without a lot of walking. Best of Luck to all of us : One Day at a Time. Dee
  12. Marg: Being a 78 year old, I understand the meaning of your "PTA". You can always make us feel like a smile and a giggle. Sorry your daughter is going through treatments. Do hope she is feeling stronger now. Keeping both of you in my thoughts. Dee
  13. Gwen: Happy you're back home with Melody and Ally but so sorry your homecoming wasn't the best it could have been. I am truly amazed you were able to go grocery shopping on your way home. You are one strong lady in spite of just being released from a month long hospitalization/recuperation process. I can imagine how you felt when you crawled into your bed and felt how good it was to be home again - and now you will find your new routine so you will be able to stay where you belong. Do take it slow and don't push too hard so you don't have to repeat this past month. I sound like your Mother trying to tell you what to do, "Right"? But, like my 51 year old daughter tells me, "I know, Mom", then does what she wants anyway. Hugs, Dee.
  14. Gene123: I am sorry to read of your recent loss of your dear husband. You ask how to move forward? I wish I could say there was a simple answer for you that would relieve that pain inside of you. Unfortunately I haven't found that simple answer for myself. I lost my husband almost five years ago after over 50 years of marriage and some days I would give anything to feel 20 percent of the way I used to feel while married to him. I think your joining this forum is a good start to your moving forward. Each one of us here have a different story of how we are dealing with our grief. I found getting through one minute, or one hour at a time will turn into one day that I have survived without his love and support. Please know, you are not alone. Warm wishes, Dee.
  15. Karen: I had to laugh reading your remark. I will be wishing you "fall off the chair and be sent home from jury duty selection", or maybe they won't choose you. I was in Phoenix once, and it was a busy place full of traffic. I, too, only want to be home. I really don't think I ever had much spirit for adventure - that was my husband - he was full of energy and always ready to go anywhere. In my younger days I could keep up with him, but since I didn't fish and didn't want to go, he'd usually take the kids or one of his friends and I'd get to stay home and work in the yard. Worked out great for all of us. Good Luck. Dee
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