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widow'15

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About widow'15

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Tacoma, WA

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    wife
  • Date of Death
    04/08/2015
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    N/A

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  1. Gwen: So happy Ally is home and is doing better and doesn't have to go back to Vet. That is a plus! I was so pleased to see the bright sunny day in Tacoma this morning. The change in the weather felt so good for my old bones. I was able to get outside and take Maddie for a short walk now that the snow is almost gone from my street. This was the first day I could walk down the street without fear of slipping on snow/ice. Am totally in agreement with you, "If I never saw snow again that would be fine with me." Hugs to you and Ally, and Melody. Dee
  2. Oh Gwen: So sorry for you and your sweet fur baby. I know how you must feel right now knowing she is going through something you can't change, an illness and age. I would do the same for my Maddie as you are doing for Ally. Knowing she is getting good care might help you get more rest. It can be so difficult wondering what to do without our dear husbands for support. When Maddie had her surgery, I was told I could come visit her if I felt I needed to. I did provide one of my shirts so she would know I was still close by. Those were the longest 3 nights I had to endure since my husband's passing. Please know you and Ally are in my prayers and thoughts. Dee
  3. Kayc: Good to hear snow plow came up your road. The rain and warmer weather here in Tacoma is gradually melting a lot of the snow. My house is at the end of a cul-de-sac with the street drain at my driveway. Will have to get myself out there and make sure the snow is moved away from the drain so the melting snow will drain instead of down my driveway. Always something. Sorry you fell. Hopefully you will mend without the need to drive to town to the doctor. Dee
  4. Karen: Anymore, for me, all of those special moments are treated as just another lonely day with never ending sadness. I do try hard though to remember the sweet memories and force a smile in my heart for a few minutes each day, but it is so hard at times. Dee
  5. Gwen: You are one brave lady to get in your car and drive anywhere in Seattle today. I hope your neighborhood doesn't have hills. Since the snow started on Friday there has been an accumulation of about 5 inches in my part of Tacoma. All day I've felt like my house was being bombarded as the clumps of snow tumbled out of the two big fir trees hanging over my house. Thankful the wind gusts didn't pick up any stronger, causing limbs to fall on power lines resulting in power outages in the area. There are no sidewalks I need to shovel - if I did, I don't think I could. I did see my neighbors shoveling off their driveway evidently they need to go somewhere tomorrow. A neighbor offered to back my car out of my garage. I thanked him and said, not to worry, I'm not going anywhere. Am beginning to miss the grey, rainy days. LOL. Dee
  6. kayc: I had 4 inches last night here in Tacoma and it is 20 degrees now. But, luckily I don't have to shovel anything. I couldn't if I had to. I am housebound and won't even attempt to go anywhere. Am dreading the next few days with the weather predictions. You ask yourself, "How you are going to do this in another ten years ?" I don't want to do this for another year. Of course I'm ten years your senior. Be careful and don't hurt yourself. Dee
  7. Gin: Yes, it is a lonely life and sometimes it is so hard not to be envious of others who still have their husbands or have gone on without their husbands and found another "friend". I have a dear neighbor who lost her husband shortly after I lost mine. She met a widower in her support group and they have become constant companions now for the past two years. I am truly happy for her, but wonder sometimes how could someone who was married almost 50 years replace that ? Am I envious or what? Sometimes I think this loneliness has made me crazy in my head. Dee
  8. widow'15

    Solitary Grief

    Gwen: These days can be so painful. Again, please know you are in my thoughts as you deal with your health issues. You are too young to have to go through this. I don't try to forget these special days, but I try to convince myself, it is now just another day, not that special day it used to be. Just like holidays, etc. Just another day. Take care. Dee
  9. Kevin and Marg: Good to read there are people like you two "motivators". I just finished about a 30 minute walk with my dog and I think it gets harder, not easier, huffing and puffing up the slight hill towards my front door. The sun was out and beautiful so was a good outing, although it was on the chilly side. And Kevin it is so nice you are so happy in your new life. Dee
  10. Ana: Thank you for sharing the lovely story by V. Franklin. I have bookmarked to reread during those heart wrenching moments that seem to surface when I am not totally in charge of my grief. In the past, I have occasionally had dreams of my husband that I recall, but not lately. I am hoping as the weather improves and I'm outside more, my sleep time will not require a mild sleep aide and my brain will not be asleep. Daily, there are constant conversations with Bob. I stare at his picture and beg him to tell me what I should do to carry on with my life. For over 50+ years we always discussed what we would do next together. And now, at my old age I have to try to figure it out on my own. There is no other choice. Like Darrel says, “One foot in front of the Other”. Dee
  11. Gwen: So far Maddie is doing well. Her last ultra sound on the 12th showed no tumor(s) had returned. This type of bladder cancer does return unfortunately, so I am thankful for each day she is a happy girl. Maddie is about 11 1/2 years old, not a puppy. Her appetite is still good and loves her walks. I wish I were younger and more able to take her on longer walks. Your Ally must be healthy and happy to still be interested in chasing a critter at age 14 years. Shortly, after my Bob passed, I had my son change my answer machine and now I wish I hadn't. I hate that sometimes I feel like I am forgetting Bob's voice. There are videos mixed among our photos and old vcr tapes that maybe I'll have the courage to listen to some day, just not quite yet. Dee
  12. Gwen: Oh my goodness, what kind of person would say such a thing? I hate it when I receive a call on my landline, yes I still have a landline which I refuse to give up since it has been our number for over 40 years, asking to talk to my husband. I tell them to please remove the name from their calling list cause he doesn't live here any longer. Some of them must have removed his name cause I seem to get less asking for him. But then there are those dang "robo" calls. I used to let the answer machine pick up, then I would pick up when I recognized the caller. But now, with my Maddie and her health issues, I don't want to chance missing a call regarding her appointments, etc. I had one of those "robo" calls the other day, and the voice on the other end was actually speaking in another language - sounded like Chinese. If nothing else, I had a laugh for the day. LOL - Dee
  13. TomPB: Your generous heart to keep Susan remembered is wonderful. The emotions you feel at this organization meeting will surely give you peace and comfort. Dee
  14. Katie: I think of you so often and pray for you and your boys. Hugs and love to all of you. Dee
  15. Gwen: Thank you. So far she is doing well. Each day with her is a blessing. Dee
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