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About genericusername

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Father in law
  • Date of Death
    June 2017
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:

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  • Location (city, state)
    Orlando, FL

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  1. Hi KayC, Thank you so much for responding and those resources are so helpful. One question I have that I have gotten feedback from a different grief forum is this: I am hesitant to reach out because he doesn't respond much, doesn't really reach out to me very often at all and I feel like I'm pestering him. We haven't spoken in a week because I felt like I needed to give him space but all the members of the other group have said that no matter how frequently or infrequently he responds it's important to keep checking in on him so he doesn't feel abandoned by me when he needs me the most. That he may just simply not have the energy to respond but it still means a lot to him for me to show that I care. Do you think this is also the right move? I'm just nervous about pushing him further away...
  2. For context I'm f/29 and he's m/32. I have been with my SO for a few months and we were in a pretty serious relationship to the point where we were planning on moving in together. Then one day he kind of dropped off the radar and I later found out it was because it was the first anniversary of his father's passing, which I already knew, and he kind of started to spiral out of control. Now he's doing drugs frequently (mostly weed but sometimes coke) and telling me how much he hates doing them, that he's never really enjoyed doing drugs and doesn't know why he's doing it. He's been cancelling plans with me and apologizing profusely for that but is just kind of stuck in this tornado it seems. He said that I was one of the very few people he's let into his life but that he doesn't really know how to handle that, that it's not healthy to drag me down into his sadness but he said even me offering to help meant more to him than I could ever know. What I'm trying to figure out is how long something like this could typically last? I've been fortunate enough at 29 to have not had to go through the grieving process (knock on wood). Of course I know that it's a silly question and it's different for every person so something like a timeline is difficult to predict, I'm just having a hard time watching the man that I love self destruct from the sidelines and I don't really know what to do. Thank you so much for any help.
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