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About Sister2Sister

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    New Visitor

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
  • Date of Death
    May 3, 2018
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:

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  • Your gender
  • Location (city, state)
    Long Beach, NY
  1. Thank you Marty and Kayc for your prompt reply. Kayc I am so sorry for all you have gone through in your own life, and from what you describe it sounds like it was terribly traumatic. Like your Donna, My mother also lost her ability to speak in the end, and it was heartbreaking to see a woman who had "the gift of gab" all of her life, suddenly be cruelly silenced! My sister was similar to Donna too, in that she maintained her zest for life ,and sense of humor, despite having a rare and unpredictable cancer diagnosis. She even went out shopping (her favorite pass-time) for 8 hours three days prior to her demise. I thank you Kayc for the very helpful suggestions for ways to get through this debilitating sadness and lack of motivation. Ironically I work in the Mental Health field for 30 years, and have run numerous bereavement groups, and individual sessions with my clients. I also have a Pet Bereavement Organization and run support groups in my community since the 90's. Because of this, people expect I will know how to cope with losing my sister, however all my experience and training has not prepared me for a loss of this magnitude. I admit to feeling helpless in my grief, and the "assumption" that I am handling it, leaves me lacking in the very support and caring that I need so desperately at this time. Thank you for listening, and my heart goes out to you and all of the grievers who come here in their time of need. I will keep coming back because sometimes we find kindness in places we never thought to look. Peace & Healing, (sister2)
  2. I am new here, and drowning in despair. I lost my younger sister less than 3 months ago. She was diagnosed with a rare cancer last year, but did well. The doctors said it was" not curable, but it was treatable." I went with her to her chemo treatments and helped her in any way she needed. We also packed many good times in to that year, going to movies, plays, celebrating holidays, and just sharing quality "sister time." We had hope and faith, and death any time in the near future was not even a consideration. When my sister began having some distressing symptoms, we got her to the hospital for fluids, however what came next was a devastating shock. The doctor told us my sister's kidneys were failing and she was septic. Within a short time she coded, but they brought her back and she stabilized, but then she coded again and I held her hand as she slipped away. This nightmare unfolded within 7 hours of getting her to the hospital. A part of me died that night too. I am back to work. and I finished cleaning out the apartment (another "ending"), and I am still handling the practical matters that one must deal with when someone dies, but I am empty inside. I lost the closest person in my life, she was my best friend and my "every day person." We grew up in a chaotic household, which made our lifelong bond even stronger. We got each other through our parents deaths, and shared all of life's good and bad. Our other sibling rejected us both for 6 years after our mother died, and only surfaced again when she heard of my sister's illness. Now she has distanced again, and offers no support, but only contacts me to discuss "money." The existing sister has a husband but I essentially lost my entire family, and have been left alone at the darkest time in my life. I miss my sister so desperately, and long to text or call her throughout the day like we used to. Life has lost all meaning and I often wonder why I am still here. I know others on this site can relate. This is the hardest loss of all. Any input is welcomed, because none of my coping skills work for me anymore. Thank you.
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