I am new here, and drowning in despair. I lost my younger sister less than 3 months ago. She was diagnosed with a rare cancer last year, but did well.
The doctors said it was" not curable, but it was treatable." I went with her to her chemo treatments and helped her in any way she needed. We also packed many good times in to that year, going to movies, plays, celebrating holidays, and just sharing quality "sister time." We had hope and faith, and death any time in the near future was not even a consideration. When my sister began having some distressing symptoms, we got her to the hospital for fluids, however what came next was a devastating shock. The doctor told us my sister's kidneys were failing and she was septic. Within a short time she coded, but they brought her back and she stabilized, but then she coded again and I held her hand as she slipped away. This nightmare unfolded within 7 hours of getting her to the hospital. A part of me died that night too. I am back to work. and I finished cleaning out the apartment (another "ending"), and I am still handling the practical matters that one must deal with when someone dies, but I am empty inside. I lost the closest person in my life, she was my best friend and my "every day person." We grew up in a chaotic household, which made our lifelong bond even stronger. We got each other through our parents deaths, and shared all of life's good and bad. Our other sibling rejected us both for 6 years after our mother died, and only surfaced again when she heard of my sister's illness. Now she has distanced again, and offers no support, but only contacts me to discuss "money." The existing sister has a husband but I essentially lost my entire family, and have been left alone at the darkest time in my life. I miss my sister so desperately, and long to text or call her throughout the day like we used to. Life has lost all meaning and I often wonder why I am still here. I know others on this site can relate. This is the hardest loss of all. Any input is welcomed, because none of my coping skills work for me anymore. Thank you.