Lexy Starling

Thank you @kayc for your kind words and reassurance that I will Be able to get through this difficult time. Even though death has happened all around me in my 27 years this really Is the first time it’s hit close to home. I can’t imagine pain you’ve gone through but yet you still seem to be standing strong and i don’t even know you. Thank you for your advice bc I will Keep them in my mind every day. I do talk to her and know that is here with me, but I’m struggling with the fact I just can’t physically see her or hug her. I have Another 60 years possibly to live my life and it tears me apart to know my mom won’t be here with me or to hold her first grandchild. This next year will be the hardest but I know She would not want me to be sad forever. Heck, she probably doesn’t want me sad now but my emotions are so uncontrollable, I just can’t hold them in. I know there’s hope and this tragic event is going to change my entire perspective on how short life really is and change me within as well. It’s a blessing but also hurtful all at once ♥️ Thank you @Kieron as well. My mom was a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul and even though we argued like nobody’s business, it was out of love for one another and we were so much alike. I always thought I had plenty more time to make great memories so now I’m having to savor those good memories that we did have to get me through these difficult times!

Thank you so much @MartyT for your kind response in my desperate need for answers during this difficult time. You words have resonated and I know there will come a time when this will get easier. It’s still fresh and it’s still my mother. Part of me feels like some of me died too. If that makes any sense. She is the one who has known me since I entered This world and have memories of my early years that I will never have. I’m just heartbroken and trying each day to do the best I can.. thank you so much for response. I’m so sorry that you have dealt with the loss of both of your parents. I cant Imagine what I will Do once both are gone. I just Hope my father Will be here longer since I only Got 27 years with my mom. ♥️

It’s been almost a month since my 46 year old mom was taken from my brother and I and I still feel as if it just happened. This is my first time dealing with grief and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through.. I’ve returned to work and I’ve sought help with a grief counselor.. standing behind a chair all day working on clients, I’ve been able to talk about her and what happened to most of them, all day, every day and I can hold it together. It’s in the mornings and at nights where I feel Like I can No longer hold it together anymore and I fall apart. It’s only been a month, I know And it’s going to take time for me to heal. But how much time does some usually need? And if I get to a good place in a few months to come, will I feel regret for no longer mourning my mother. That’s how I feel now if I remotely laugh at a joke or let out a snort at something funny. I feel remorse because I am grieving and my mother was just taken from me. My emotions are all over the place. I never know how I’m going to feel when I wake up in the mornings. Most of the time I just feel numb and sad. If that’s even possible. It’s so hard to find that motivation to even get out of bed in the mornings, but I do. Mostly because If I’m not working, the bills are still going to continue coming and i don’t need the added stress of not be able to pay them. I’m sad and depressed and I know this is all part of the healing process but I do feel like this pain will never go away.

I need suggestions on any books that can help me during this difficult time. TIA

This is an older post but I spoke With a medium for the first time a few months ago and she didn’t tell me that I’d lose my mom just a few months later unexpectedly so this morning out of anger and rage i reached out to her through messenger. She’s a local. And before I was Skeptical. Even after our first reading. This morning my mom came through with only being gone less than a month and I wasn’t quite ready but I’m glad she did. There’s a reason that medium called me. My mom wanted her to connect to me.. I got validation on a few things and found out that my mom is no longer hurting and she’s at peace watching over me every day since she left. She’s seen my pain and she hasn’t left my side at all. There were so many things the medium told me that there was no way it could have been made up. Brought chills, tears and happiness all in one reading. I’m thankful for it. I’m still empty and sad bc I cant See her physically but I lnow She’s here for me and I find Comfort in just that ♥️

This morning I made a post about what I’m dealing with after losing my mom unexpectedly almost 4 weeks ago. I’m struggling hard right now and reading and talking about it seems to help! Before i post my blog from this morning, I just want to say I had Reached out to a Medium; or those who I like to refer to as Prophets, a few months ago and she not once mentioned I’d lose someone close to me in just a short time. I was Angry this morning and apparently I’ve still been in shock for the past 4 weeks. I was still needing answers. Well for some reason I reached Out to her this morning and before I knew it, she was calling me to figure out why I was Questioning her original reading. Before I knew It, my mom was coming through and I for the first time experienced sadness and happiness all at once because my mom is at peace and no longer in pain.. I was getting some of the answers I’d been waiting for and there was validation that my mom has been with me every moment since she left us. Am I crazy That I reached out to a medium this early on in my grieving?! I’m somewhat at peace but still sad bc she’s not here physically and I still cant pick up the phone to call her heres the link to my new blog. I hope someone finds comfort in it and will follow along as I take This journey on a new path ♥️ https://link.medium.com/aVU26Gt1hR