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Shelynn66

Members
  • Content Count

    3
  • Joined

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About Shelynn66

  • Rank
    New Visitor

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    St Mary’s Ohio

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Bindis momma
  • Date of Death
    11-13-2018
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Elina Animal Hospital
  1. Shelynn66

    Unbearable Grief

    Thank you for sharing that with me Kay. I’m so sorry for your cat and so sorry that you had to carry that guilt. It’s horrible. It’s hard enough to make the decision to put them down, but to know that I caused more suffering by thinking she could get well, is just devastating to me. She was a mommy’s girl so bad and I can’t imagine how abandoned she felt while laying in that kennel suffering. It eats at my brain and shreds my heart to think of it. I talk to her all of the time as if she is still here. I tell her how sorry I am and how I miss her. I know time will heal this gaping wound eventually, but I will always have regret and agony over her suffering. You have no idea how much this brief interaction has helped me. I wasn’t able to breath or even swallow right for a couple of days after I put her down, it is slowly coming back to normal. Thank you for talking to me.....thank you for this site and for the links you have provided. ❤️
  2. Shelynn66

    Unbearable Grief

    Marty and Kay, thank you both so much for your kind words. I am still struggling to cope with Bindis last days, but I’m starting to forgive myself a little. I think I’ll always have pain over knowing that she was alone through her suffering. I constantly see the world through her eyes inside of that kennel, hurting and wondering where her mommy was. I am grateful that she didn’t pass before she heard my voice, at least she knew I was there at the very end. However, I never would have let her get that ill. Had I actually been told her true condition that last day and a half, I would have put her down sooner. I’ll never understand the vets thinking. Thank you both again, your words truly comforted me.
  3. Shelynn66

    Unbearable Grief

    I am currently dealing with the aftermath of waiting too long to put my dog down. I am sick over it. I had my Bindi for 11 1/2 years and in that time she had gotten sick from time to time, for one reason or another. She began acting like she was getting sick again so I was taking care of her the same way I always did. She stopped eating, then started having a difficult time walking and had thrown up a few times. She finally threw up a sock. I took her to the vet and they said that her stomach was probably irritated so they sent us home with pills. She did not improve. It got to the point that I knew she had to be seen again. A new vet this time ran a blood test on her and determined that her kidneys were shutting down. An X-ray showed that she also may have had a blockage in her intestine (possibly the other sock). I was told that this could be what was causing her kidney trouble. The vets advise was to put her down, but the hope that it was the blockage causing it and she could be fixed made me opt for trying to save her. The vet said he could keep her at the veterianary clinic on an iv to see if things would move along. A day and a half I called repeatedly to see how she was because I was terrified at the notion of her suffering or dying in a cold kennel alone. Each time they told me that she was resting comfortably and that she had even gotten up a few times to get a drink. I asked if I could come see her, but the vet said that they advise people not to do that because it’s hard on the pet to see us leave again (I agreed). The last day I called at 8:30 am, as the test was supposed to have been conducted by that time. It had not, they were running behind. Again, they told me that she was doing the same and that it would be about 3:30-4:00 pm before they would have any results. I got the call at 1:30 that her results were poor and that she should be put down. I rushed to the clinic and they put me in a room. They wheeled my dog to me on a gurney. She was completely unaware of her surroundings (from what I could determine in my frantic state) and she was gasping for air. It became clear to me that my decision to save her caused immeasurable suffering and I wasn’t there for her. 11 1/2 years of loyal companionship and I failed her when she needed me most. She isn’t here to forgive me and I can’t forgive myself.
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