Hi my name is Kristi, I’m new to doing something like this. I lost my 14 yr old daughter about 2.5 yrs ago suddenly in a hiking accident of heat exhaustion. She was with my mother, my mother found her passed out laying next to her car already turning blue they did CPR for 45mins without results. My mother blames herself and has a very hard time living herself. Now it’s holiday time and things of course get worse now. I have not properly done any grieving, I had to come back and immediately go back to work, take care of my two boys one is now 19 and the other just turn 14. My ex-husband was a complete mess and so I had to push everything aside so that I could take care of arrangements because she had passed another state and we had to wrap things up quickly. I have tried to reach out to other support groups but like a grief center told me is my case is unique and rare. Most of these support groups are miscarriages very young infants or older adult children that have passed away due to motor vehicle accidents or overdoses. I have not found anyone that has a situation like mine that can help me or listen to my situation. I still think about her constantly she was the spitting image of me. My oldest child pushes it aside doesn’t wanna talk about it doesn’t want to deal with it and my youngest went to counseling for a while but still he does have his moments and him and I do you talk about her but I know they’re still a lot of things he needs to deal with. And I don’t know how to help my mother cope with the image of my daughter laying there and her to be the 1st and only one that found her. Another thing that I have a difficult time with is my best friends since the third grade has a daughter that is six months older than my daughter and they were best friends even went to school together and now that my friends daughter is going through these milestones 16 and driving her graduation will be next year dances prom I have A horrible time coping she includes me and all of these things and I have such mixed feelings I enjoyed that she wants me to be part of this but again all I can think about is this should be my daughter my daughter should be having this milestone right now but it is the hardest absolute hardest thing that I have to do.
