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About K.D.

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    Dallas, Texas

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  1. Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to read my post and respond. I had a fundraiser on my birthday last year to benefit the schnauzer rescue group that I adopted him from. That’s all I’ve done. I am stuck in that trap that “moving on” and “feeling better” means I’m somehow forgetting him. Which I know is not true. I’ll be reading thru all the amazing resources on this site once again.
  2. I’m sorry. I wish I could say something more than that. Just know that other feel the same way.
  3. Well, it’s been almost a year since I had to let my best friend go. I would like to say I’ve had a healthy grieving experience, but I’m pretty sure I have not. I think I managed to compartmentalize the pain and shove it deep down inside. I have not been able to put up his bed or toys yet. I see them every day and feel a low level sadness. Occasionally I really truly truly remember and I get a stab of fear and lots of pain. He was my third rescue dog. After the first two died, one in 2001 and one in 2009, I was able to get a new friend within three months. This time, I hav
  4. I am back, after almost a year, to donate, as this site was the only thing that helped me get through those first dark months after my beloved dog passed. Thank you for your work. As the anniversary looms, I am remembering how much comfort I found here.
  5. She’s beautiful. My dog was my inseparable companion as well, so I completely understand. He went everywhere with me. I too, am angry and saddened that his life was cut short. I feel like he was cheated. I think that whether you had her for a few more weeks, or months, the pain would be just as bad as losing her the same day. I say that because my dog’s lung tumor was discovered in November, (by accident during an MRI for his back) and he started having trouble breathing towards the end of January. Within weeks he was gone. I spent November thru Feb 12 trying to memorize every
  6. I’m so sorry. It’s so painful. I hope you are doing as well as can be expected. It does seem like a cruel cosmic joke. The earth literally burst into life shortly after he died. All around me people are happy and luxuriating in spring. I hate it. Two and a half months later and I’m still in so much pain. I can’t stand the happy chirping either.
  7. It does make it worse that I’m alone in it, and now I feel threatened. I told him that he doesn’t get to decide my feelings. Sadly, I went and visited my stepmom, and her dog went into sudden kidney failure, and I had to take her to have the dog put to sleep. While I’m glad I could be there for her, I thought I was going to have a heart attack and die during the process. I was sweating buckets and my heart was pounding. At least we can share each other’s pain. As always, thank you for your support.
  8. Not getting any easier for me yet. It almost feels worse. Sadly my husband didn’t really care about the dog, so he’s pushing me to move on. We had a fight because he wants me to pick up the food and water bowls. He was pretty cold about it. It’s like he gave me exactly 30 days to get over it. I just cannot pick them up yet. I miss him soo soo much. He did everything with me. Literally everything. I hope the rest of you are getting some relief.
  9. I need to think about that often. That it’s the love, not the grief. I’ve got cans of open dogfood in the fridge that I don’t want to throw out, because I feel like it’s somehow forgetting him.
  10. Sharon, he looks so so sweet. My heart breaks for you.
  11. Unfortunately, I totally get it. Mine was my shadow. We did everything together. I threw him in the car for every errand. We walked several times a day. He slept pressed up against me. I keep thinking I see him out of the corner of my eye. I loved being his “mom”. Nothing about his care seemed like work or a chore to me. I miss his happy face and wagging tail. I hate the grief process so much. I know eventually I will feel “better” in some way. Even that seems like a betrayal. I know they don’t live forever. One of life’s best yet most painful gifts.
  12. Awww Michael, she’s beautiful. I wish I could hold mine again, just one more time. They are such sweet, innocent souls. I miss my baby so much. My husband is trying his best but he was my baby. I had him before we married and my husband didn’t love him like I did. Hope you are hanging in there.
  13. Mike, so many of us here are in exactly the same place. The guilt and pain are so awful. I put mine to sleep two days before you. I’m still struggling with the guilt...should I have waited? So many things...guilt that he didn’t get to see Spring...and more. The pain and hysteria are still crushing. The grief changes shape every day. I wish I could make you feel better. I wish I could feel better. Just try to make it day by day.
  14. Thank you. It is indeed a challenge for many people to be uniquely themselves and free with their pet grieving. Your post is comforting to read. I’m sorry about Lexie. I have the same pain, obviously. I think that instead of people having the “it’s just an animal” attitude, it would be nice for them to see the immense and limitless capacity the human heart has to love any kind of creature. As Marty said in another post, love is not a competition. I’m in the stage now where cold, hard reality has set in. I think I’ve been in shock the past two weeks.
  15. Thank you, Marty. My husband has already commented “I want my wife back”. I’m trying to be patient with him as he tries to be patient with me. I married someone who is very sensitive, just not an animal person.
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