My Dad just died on February 10, 2019. I saw through the window my Dad on the porch trying to go to the hospital, and him going suddenly going down to the right. My Moms friend is screaming her head off for him to breathe. I get my sister next door. we have to watch along with my mother, my Father lie on the ground for an hour, pretty much dead as ten men work on him. He had an Aortic Aneurysm. i cant shake the bad images from my head. we finished the funeral, and life has resumed the past three to four days. I was crying every day, and the past two days its better, but it does come and go. I am just not sure how to process witnessing it all. Plus, my Father refused to go anywhere for an hour and copped an attitude. I didnt see him, I just heard him. He wouldnt let anyone call 911.
I dont want to get PTSD from this but I cant ignore reality. I have great anger in me that there is zero cure for this condition. they worked on him as if he had a heart attack even though we told them the symptoms...paralyzed right leg, back pain, odd things that heart attacks dont have. they only figured it out after he was dead. so i dont know, i go to bed seething a lot and want to go on a mission. I hear all the time that people die of this or brain, or stomach aneurysms every day. this is now my grandmother, my dads, and now him. that is scary to me because thats two family members that have gone down from the same thing. im 44, they were 70, but still, how do you tell yourself it wont happen? I am sure some of you are having the same feelings. loss is strange. one minute your fine, next your not. ive been numb today. Me and my Mother are left to live alone in the house. i know its weird to be with your parents at my age but that is a long story. i needed to get it out, from those who may have seen their parents die.
