poeticapathy

Thank you. I ended up passing out this afternoon which resulted in my mother calling 911 and the ambulance taking me to the ER. Apparently the emotional stress, not eating or drinking much and the meds my dr put me on all we’re the probable causes of this fainting spell. I’ve been instructed to force myself to eat and drink even if I’m not up to it, and to stop the new meds I was put on.

Thank you Marty. Unfortunately I do not have health insurance and can not afford counseling out of pocket. I wish I could though.

3 days ago my precious baby girl Itty Bitty (cat) unexpectedly passed away. She was only 8. She suddenly started acting strange and just not herself at all. Took her to the vet and they said she needed to go to the emergency vet ASAP. Went to the emergency vet and they said she was having renal failure and to keep her alive it was going to be $1500 for the initial care plus $$$$$ for each treatment session she would need for the rest of her life and we just couldn’t afford that. They said putting her down was the best option at that point.After she was put down we took her home and buried her in the yard.I’ve been a basket case ever since and I don’t see myself getting better. Despite being on blood pressure meds my bp kept getting higher and higher until I finally went to see my dr at the request of my family as they were afraid I would have a stroke or heart attack. I was put on another bp med as well as Trazodone for sleep and depression.Nothing is helping. Tho was my baby. MINE. She has been in my life since the day she was born. She chose ME right away as her human. Her favorite thing to do was to climb onto my chest and lay on me chest and shoulder while I held her up with one or both of my arms. She would sit with me like this for hours.I’ve dealt with depression for many years now and having Itty Bitty in my life was the only piece of happiness I had. I was holding on to life because she was in it and now that she is gone I have nothing left to live for. My one piece of happiness is gone. I’m pissed af at myself because I was not there the last 2 weeks of her life. I missed out on the last 2 weeks of giving her shoulder cuddles and I hate myself for it. I can’t sleep or eat, I’m exhausted and I’m physical pain from my grief. We had a bond I’ve not had with any other animal before. I just want to be in heaven with her so we can cuddle forever.No one in my life understands the extend of my pain. I have no one to talk to. “It’s just a pet” some have said. My mother tells me I need to snap out of it. I CANT. Literally all I can do is lay in bed bawling and thinking about going to heaven to be with my baby 😥