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BiscuitsDad

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About BiscuitsDad

  • Rank
    New Visitor

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Cat Dad
  • Date of Death
    March 23, 2019
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    n/a

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    North Hollywood

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  1. Hi Buster's Mom, Thanks for checking in with me. I'm doing okay, had a few setbacks but I'm hanging in there. I hope you're doing well?
  2. Thank you, Maylissa. I appreciate the article link. I will read that. Hopefully it will help. And thank you for your insights and wisdom, thoughtfulness and kindness. I especially need that today. It has been an especially hard day today. I'm either crying or on the verge of crying most of the day. I have so much sadness and emptiness in me. I'm just so unhappy and lonely, my life has become so quiet and still and utterly pointless. I'm so sorry to hear about the mother and daughter kitties who were separated. I don't understand why they couldn't remain together. People can be so cruel and unthinking. I can only imagine how depressed they each will be being separated like. And the daughter-cat will be alone, possibly all day while whoever adopted her is at work. That just makes the story even more tragic. I wish you had been able to adopt them. Stories like this just break my heart. I wish there wasn't so much callousness in the world. Thank you again for your reply. Like all the others, they help get me through my days when otherwise I'd just lay down and give up.
  3. Thank you all so much, Bailey's Mom, KayC and Buster's Mom. I've been having a really bad couple of days but I'm getting through it. I read your posts the other day but in tears was having a difficult time composing myself. Today is the 2 week anniversary of Biscuit's passing. It will be a hard day I'm sure. Your stories and your kindness help immensely. I wish none of us had to experience this loss and grief but I'm thankful there is a community of people who understand. I've found a chatroom on another site that has helped a great deal. I also have a pet loss support group on Tuesday. This has been a grueling, unreal procession of days. For now I'm at least able to work again. Mornings and afternoons are still difficult. Working from home makes it harder to distract myself when everything reminds me of Biscuit. But thanks to your kind and thoughtful replies, I am getting through my days when otherwise I don't think I could. Buster's Mom, Buster is so handsome! Such a beautiful boy. Biscuit would not win any awards on his looks but I personally found him to be the cutest big boy ever. He had such a quirky personality and just a look from him could make me laugh. I just miss him so very much as I'm sure you all miss your fur babies. Here are a few of my favorite Biscuit Boy photos.
  4. I'm very sorry for not replying sooner, I was not getting notifications. I so wish I had seen your replies sooner. Thank you all so much KayC, Maylissa, Buster's Mom, and Bailey's Mom for reading my story and taking the time to respond. I am so very sorry for your losses. Your own stories, kindness, and thoughtfulness made me cry. We loved our little fur babies so much. Facing each day without them is so difficult, seemingly impossible sometimes. I still wish for my Biscuit boy back. I talk to him like he is still physically here and say to him the things I would normally say. "Hey my Bisky-boy, ready for bed? C'mon, let's go to bed, my good boy." And as I lay in bed and try to imagine him settling in beside me, his physical absence crushes my heart. But as you all are doing and as I must, we have to face each and every day, face the "new normal". This past week more than a few times I've wanted to give up. Wished I was dead. But here I sit, reading your stories and crying again. I'm facing the day as hard as it might be. Thank you all again for your kind words and for sharing your own stories. It helps me more than you might know. Your thoughtful words as well as those of others online have literally saved my life.
  5. I lost my sweet boy, Biscuit, on Saturday. He died in my arms after spending 2 days in intensive care. The guilt and regret I have over how his life ended seems insurmountable. So much I wish I could change. He spent 2 days in that cold, awful place rather than at home with me. I had such hopes that he would pull through and life would return to normal but instead he died an agonizing death right in front of me. I will never be able to get those images of him gasping for air, gasping for life, out of my head. They haunt me daily. I cannot close my eyes without seeing them. Cannot lay down to sleep without pills. Cannot wake up without tears in my eyes and the ache of emptiness in my chest. Life will never be the same with my precious boy. It just isn't worth living without him. There is no purpose anymore. Only the quiet, lonely stillness all around me. Biscuit was a cat who will never be matched. He was special. He was perfect. We were best friends. We were soul mates. And I let him down. How he must have felt utterly abandoned at the hospital. Where was I? Why did my dad leave me here? Why are they sticking me with so many needles and forcing medicine down my throat? I cannot forgive myself. I cannot get past this. I cry all the time now. When I'm not crying I wander around my apartment in a daze. The world is an ugly, lonely place without my beautiful little boy by my side.
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