Virgo_gal1

Thank you both for your kind words. I am glad there are people out there who are so understanding. I have started journaling a little. I write things which I am unable to tell anyone, random thoughts. Although I am actively trying not to think about it but I hope I am not suppressing the entire thing. I don't want to have a breakdown at a later stage.

Thank you MartyT for these articles. I could actually relate to them. It's just that people around me weren't very understanding at the time of my brother. They usually brushed it under the rug and never really spoke about it. I was pissed off and relieved at the same time. I wanted to talk about it and avoid it at the same time. Kayc, yes, I mean I don't know how to react. I have never been really expressive and maybe people find it hard as well. How do you cope up with losing a father figure? Someone who taught you how to ride a bicycle, who was there waiting for you after every exam, who took you out to eat, who bought you everything you needed, and most importantly who loved you unconditionally. I feel we could have loved and spent more time with him as we grew up. We all started getting busy with our lives and careers.

Thank you for your response kayc. I am really sorry about your dog. I know it's hard. I regret not doing a lot of things. You take things for granted without realizing the that one day you will lose them. I had this realization after losing my brother. But i am still very sad that I wasn't a better granddaughter. And I have not told a lot of people a about the loss because I don't want them to look at me differently. Is this wrong? Pretending to be normal.

I came across this website almost 4 years back when I lost my brother. It was a sudden and shocking loss. This group somehow helped me express my feelings which I was not able to do in real life. I never wanted to come back here. Yet I am. I lost my grandfather 2 days back. He was not ill or suffering. He went away suddenly. Although he was old but this does not mean it was time for him to go. My already small family has become smaller after these two losses. I regret not spending more time with my grandfather. Although he lived with us but I was always tired. He was with me through all my milestones. He was more like a father figure than a grandfather. I don't know how to react to this loss because people aren't much surprised since they think he was old. But that does not mean anything. I keep remembering him the last time I saw him. He looked to be sleeping peacefully. I miss him. Alot.