P33

Hi kayc, I am going home start of November for a week. Cant leave now due to work. I have been trying to keep myself busy but from time to time to thoughts and memories overtake. Im sure ill eventually be okay. Just a little stressed because I want to just grief and think of my dad but even that has become difficult because the sadness of breaking up with my partner is taking up too much space.

Thought I should say something about this too. My dad passed away 2 months ago. I was finding it difficult to attend social events for a month after. I was feeling anxious to meet friends. I did not feel like being romantic towards my partner too. I couldnt be intimate. But in my head I knew i'll be okay again, soon. But I needed my time. To think of my dad. To think of our memories together. To grief. Initially my partner was quite understanding. But after 2 months, he said it was it was too sad. I started thinking of his parents who live in Ireland and abruptly ended the relationship over something very small. I lost both my men within 2 months. Wished he waited a bit more. Wished he understood. Cause now I am broken. I have lost my strength and confidence. I would say give her time and be supportive, Hopefully she is back to herself soon. Having said that, it sounds like you have been very supportive. Kudos to you for that. The time taken to grief is different to every person. But you also deserve happiness and I hope I get your joy soon. Take some time to focus on yourself too. Im sure she will appreciate the space. And I hope you both grow together, happier and better. Relationships are difficult, but it makes me hopeful knowing that there are men like you who try to fix things and help your partner.

Talking about dreams.... I lost my dad 2 months ago. 4 weeks after that, had a big fight with then boyfriend. I cried in front of his pic saying I wished you were around to say it'll all be okay. Iw wish you would take me with you because this is an evil world I live in, and now I dont have your support . That night he came in my dream. It was an elaborate dream but basically it was his funeral. I was hugging my uncles and then the nxt person I hugged was my dad. No one else could see him but me. I felt him. His arms were cold like the day of his funeral. But he was there, He smiled at me. Then he took me and danced around. We were dancing for what felt like at least 15 minutes. The whole time he was smiling at me like he was trying to say it is going to be okay. Then he left. I woke up crying and truly believed he came back to console me. My boyfriend left me few weeks later. Again. he came in my dream. This time I was crying. He picked up some clothes on the floor and said "ok stop crying now and think of the next thing to do" I believe those who leave us are always watching upon us. I wish I could talk to him now. Im going through a very rough patch, having lost both my main men. But still am hoping he will come back in my dreams.

Hi, My dad passed away 2 months ago. It was an unexpected death and I was in another country at the time. The whole thing was very traumatising for me. The late night call, the rush to get a flight home and seeing my dad in a coffin, after speaking to him only 2 days before that night. I went through a lot of emotions. I was doing okay after a week but broke down weeks after, from time to time. I have always been very independent but my dad was my only constant support through my life. My partner is from Ireland and we were together for almost 3 years. He has always been one to constantly change his mind about things but we were doing reasonably well this year as a couple. I'd like to think Im a reasonably good girlfriend too. Im not perfect but took very good care of him. I loved him a lot. We were talking about building a home together. After my dad's passing, he was very supportive. He flew back with me and spent a week with my family. Then he got back and made a shrine for my dad so I feel better when Im back to our house. When I was home, he said 'I made a promise to your dad to always take care of you'. I felt good. Then after a month, things got a little different. He started getting annoyed at me for simple things and constantly said he missed his home in Ireland. Although my plan was to go to Ireland sometime in future with him and live there for a few years, I could not plan such things at that time. My mum who currently lives 5 hours away from me by flight , would not want to hear that her only daughter is moving much further from her just months after her husband's passing. But I was still prepared to move after 5 years or so. He kept saying he did not want to miss more occasions at home. I was on the other hand, still very sad. And finally 7 weeks after my dad's death, we broke up and he says he wants to go back to Ireland and the thought of getting a ring to be engaged to me makes him want to run away. This broke my heart completely. Broke my confidence. My hope and support vanished. I was till grieving for my dad and knowing that I was losing the 2 men I had in my life, at the same time, was a bit much. I don't have any family where I live and my friends are busy with their own lives. I feel alone and disappointed.

Thank you kayc

Hi, i know this this is an old conversation. But I was reading some material and came across this. Snap, everything that happened to you, happened to me. Except I am 30, he is 30. My dad passed away Unexpectedly just 7 weeks ago! I am still grieving and going through a lot of anxiety and had expected attention from him, more than usual. Thought it wasn’t a big ask, given that that’s what ppl in love do, lean against each other and help each other during tough times. He said he couldn’t endure this sad phase, and has started missing his family who lives in another country. We are mix race couple. He was willing to leave behind our 3 years relationship, a beautiful bond we built in a new city, his flourishing career, our plants and friends because he can’t face problems. He has always done this in the past. When the going gets tough, he leaves instead of facing the problem. I thought he was changing. I’m such a fool. But I truly loved him. He had many good aspects too. Loved his family and would have probably gone to live in his country later on in life. I just couldn’t leave my mum who lives 5 hours away (by flight) at this point. He was there during my dads funeral and said he promised my dad he’ll take care of me. But now he wants to leave without me. He says he is home sick. He used this as an excuse to leave me. I feel weak. I’ve always taken pride in being very independent and strong. I left home when I was 19 and moved to a whole new country by myself. Faced problems by myself and solved it without anyone’s help. Recently I’ve been feeling weak. Because I received no security in the relationship I built with the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It hurts. Feel lonely. I don’t have many friends here I can openly talk about this. I’m currently in a job I can’t leave and hoping to study more too.