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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Bryn

Members
  • Posts

    2
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Mother
  • Date of Death
    08/05/19
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    N/A

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    FRANKLINTON LA
  1. Thank you so much, Kayc. I am so sorry it took me this long to reply to you but I have been hiding myself away from the grief since that moment. To additionally burden the soul, another of our kittens was killed on the highway and another two by what we presume are coyotes. Also, our lab mix was recently diagnosed with lymphoma. However..we have since had a momma cat show up to our home expecting a litter of babies and she recently gave birth to a healthy and beautiful litter of four. I suppose God works in mysterious ways. I am trying my best to ease my heart with our new additions and, as you said, we cannot hope to protect them from everything. Again, I thank you for your kind words and the thoughtfulness of your response. It gives me such faith to know there are like minded folk out there who share my deep hearted grief for the loss of furry companions.
  2. My husband and I rescued a cat who had a litter of kittens and then my mother in law brought us another kitten, who we named Lucy, to care for. He was the light of my life, the sweetest kitten to walk this earth and I enjoyed every moment of him. We also recently rescued two orange kittens from the side of the highway who are particularly skittish. The kittens have a bad habit of climbing into the undercarriage of our cars and so we make it a regular duty to check for them every morning before we leave for work. This past week, I realized that the orange kittens were in the belly of my car and went to great lengths to remove them which ended up in me burning my arm from my exhaust pipe but, finding them safe and not seeing any of the other kittens under my car, I pulled out of my driveway. Moments later I heard a thump and God only knows the level of devastation and guilt I have felt since that moment as I saw our sweet baby Lucy fall to the side of the road... I was numb, in shock, I turned around and as soon as I had his tiny body in my arms I began sobbing crying and I've had an absolutely wretched time of it since. I can't absolve myself of the guilt and sadness that I feel and I cannot believe that I was the cause of his demise. I loved him like a child and through my neglect I ended his life and I do not know how to forgive myself. I missed work that day because I couldn't even handle facing anyone knowing what I had done. My husband says it's not my fault and there's nothing I could have done but I feel like if I just would have kept looking or realized or driven slower or swerved, I could still have my sweet Lucy purring in my arms. I have never and would never hurt an animal and they thought of a defenseless kitten being harmed makes me sick to my stomach. I cannot forgive myself.
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