I lost my 33 yr old healthy daughter to stage 3 pancreatic cancer 7 yrs ago. She suffered a horrible 9 months leaving behind a loving husband, and 2 little girls age 4 & 1 1/2. They are our gifts from her to carry on her legacy. The oldest is so much like her it's crazy and my husband & I are grateful for that. My husband has since remarried and the girls are adjusting well. And they call our daughter in law mommy. The girls also know that they have a mommy in heaven also, and when they ask questions everyone is on board to answer them.
Now to me, I of course miss my daughter but don't dwell on the fact that she is not with us, if I did that then the cancer continues to win & I won't allow that ever. I wear a bracelet with her name on it, and fearful if I was to put it away she may think that I am forgetting her. I want to move on but also don't want to forget her. I just don't know how to do that or how to feel whole again. My husband doesn't talk much about it, I don't always want it to be the only thing I talk about when I am with family & friends either. I feel like I am living in a fish bowl and don't know how to get out.
I also don't know anyone else that has gone through the same thing I have to lean on. So that's my story and I hope someone is out there to help me feel whole again and live a full life.
Maggie
