Hi Everyone,
I was referred to this blog by my therapist. I'm 27, my Father is terminally ill with pancreatic cancer. My mom died when I was 24, suddenly, from a brain aneurysm. I have no borthers or sisters, I feel extremely alone, isolated with the resonsibilites of my Dad's sickness.
For me, one of the hardest parts is looking at everyone else my age; They are travelling, getting married, having babies, building their career. It is so hard not to be jealous and bitter. I wish I could use my time off for fun, but instead I have a million things to do to help my Dad fight for as long as he can. I shop, cook, give him meds, take him to docs, take him to chemo, stay with him in the hospital, check on him constantly. He is all I have left, this is all the time we have left. I am so angry.
I am angry that this is my reality, versus the reality others are experiencing at this age. I love my Dad, and will do everything I can to promote more time together because we didn't get that opportunity with my mom. But it still makes me irate that I have to lose both parents at all. Why both!? Why God!? Was one not good enough?? Everyone else this age just cares about superficial bullshit, but I get to experience BOTH of my parents dying? What the ****!?
I never thought my twenties would be filled with such greif and heartache. Having to plan another funeral already is unbelievable. I could barely get through losing my mom, I don't know how I am going to get through losing my dad.
