I have lost all my family (both my siblings long ago), and my mother was the last in October of 2018. Unlike many of you here, I cannot accept, that long time friends just don't know what to say. That's what cards and letters are for. I think such selfishness is a sign of the degradation of our society. You see it everywhere from politics to the personal, people so insulated within their worlds, that they cannot even tolerate another point of view, let alone imagine that they may one day really need someone. Modern conveniences, automation, psychiatry (which often assures patients it's ok to be selfish), and now social media, have all contrived to weaken the fragile integrity of our humanity. It takes an effort to be a true friend, and it will always take an effort. If a person cannot even crook their little finger when a friend's loved one dies, then I can only imagine that their aggrieved friend is truly better off. They have only to imagine losing someone they love... Believe me I know your pain...
