Hello,
I'm new to forums but I hope maybe talking to people who understand my grief will help me somehow.
I lost my Great Pyrenees, Sage, while I was on my honeymoon. She was 7 and a half years old, we definitely didn’t see it coming.
I got married and although Sage couldn't attend, she was very much at the heart of the wedding. The priest mentioned her during the ceremony and my sisters made an amazing video to me "from Sage" which had me in tears and everyone loved it.
At the time, Sage was staying with her dog sitter at her boarding kennels, which she's been at many times before. They treat her very well, walked her and genuinely loved her. However, just 3 days after my wedding, Sage passed away in her sleep in the kennels all alone. The night it happened, I was in Florida on my honeymoon and I had a dream she died. When I woke up, I had a terrible feeling. However, my family decided not to tell me that Sage had passed. When I called, they assured me she was fine. I guess they thought it would ruin my honeymoon, not that it matters now. I know they had good intentions and I was thousands of miles away, but the guilt is overwhelming.
When I returned home, they broke the news to me. Thankfully, they had her cremated and I have her ashes in a wooden urn now with her name engraved on it. I feel so bad that I wasn’t there for Sage when she needed me most. She was with me every second of every day, I work from home full-time and she would sit next to me and protect me between cuddles and treats.
It was such a shock as Sage wasn’t sick. The vet said she had a fit or heart attack in her sleep. But I didn’t get to say goodbye properly and now I just hug her urn and cry. It’s been around 2 weeks since all of this happened and I’m now I’m home and back to work and the house is quiet and lonely.
My husband and I both have dreams about Sage but it’s mostly me as she was my dog before we got married. I dreamt she was waiting for me to come home so she could say goodbye and she came running up to me, excited and wagging her tail and I hugged her, said sorry and said goodbye. I feel a bit better but it’s just so sad without her. I feel like I don’t have any purpose anymore.
