I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years. He is my person. He is who I feel most comfortable around. He makes me feel good and he’s the person I speak to everyday. About a year ago, his mother was diagnosed with cancer. I was very supportive about the situation. As time went by I always checked up and asked how she was doing, I came over and spent a lot of time with him and his family. Throughout this relationship, I started to feel unloved or feel that my love was too strong and his was not. I expressed this to him a few times, and now I feel like I put too much pressure on him. This past week he’s been acting strange towards me, almost just very quiet and not trying to see me or telling me what’s going on. I asked how things are with his mom, and he explained not well and it was hard to make time to see me because of what was going on. I was understanding, but also very sad. When he finally got the chance he saw me and explained to me that his mother will pass any day now, he is under going depression, and other personal matters. He explained he was very stressed, overwhelmed, and not able to handle everything that’s going on around him, nor a relationship. He explained he needs to work on himself, and has way too much going that he cannot handle being in a relationship. He told me this isn’t easy for him, but he thinks I’m not getting what I deserve because he cannot give me what “I deserve” because of what’s going on, even though I really just want to be there for him. I was very understanding and told him I will always be here for him during this time, to reach out for anything at all, etc. Even though I stayed strong in front of him, I have not been doing well. My heart aches not only for the loss of our relationship, but the sadness he’s feeling, and what him and his family are going through. I don’t even feel this is real. I know this is only the beginning of our breakup but I do not know how to cope. I can’t stop crying. My heart hurts. I feel so un-motivated, and all I want to do is reach out to him but I am trying to hold back from any relationship matters and to just be there for him. The last thing I sent him was a reminder that I will always be here and that I care about him dearly, and to please let me know if he needs anything. Even though the passing hasn’t happened yet, I am hoping he will let me know. I am going to check up on him a few times but not too much as I want to give him his space. I hope he lets me know because I want to show my respects for him and his family. This whole situation is giving me anxiety. I can’t stop thinking about him and all I want to do is hold him tightly. I try and distract myself, but any time of silence I can’t help but break down and feel pain. I wish he would allow me to be there for him during this time, and I don’t know how I’m going to handle this for what is it come. I’m really sad
