Katie1

I want John back. I don't want to hear I will see him again...he lives in my heart....he is in the wind...every time you see a butterfly...a feather................... I'm broken. His presence....his laughter....his hand in mine....our deep conversations....our future................... Gone....we will never marry......never find our apartment..... never celebrate our first Thanksgiving...Christmas...... Part of my very being has died.....and I have to go on and live.......how?

My fiance died suddenly. I am broken without John. The pain is unbearable at times...the tears just flow....Wednesday will be two months. I don't want to hear about seeing each other again someday. I don't want to hear he is in my heart...by my side...in the wind....sending me signs........... I want him back. Physically in my arms...hand in hand....laughing...deep in conversation....lovingly gazing at each other. I feel I am dying. I have to push the pain deep down inside of me because I have a daughter who is in the hospital three weeks now for depression. I must be there for her.... Meanwhile....I'm dying......