Gwenivere Thank you, I understand no death is easy if you know it's coming or if it's sudden because in the end we all are suffering from losing a loved one ... I'm glad I found this group because for months I've had noone to talk to about how I feel because they don't understand. It's easy for people to say you're going to be okay or things are going to be better but when a piece of your heart is gone how can you be okay..Youu are absolutely right I just knew nothing like this would happen to us,me losing the love of my life as well as my boys growing up without their father when it's always been just us 4, The thought of him leaving us never crossed my mind especially at 31 and being murdered...I'm sorry you and your husband had to battle that , cancer is a scary thing I can only imagine what your thoughts must have been when y'all found out, You have my deepest condolences. God bless you.