On Friday the 10th, I unexpectedly lost my sweet cat named Homie. He was only a year and a half old. He was sick for a few days & not eating before he got better for a day, and then spiraled quickly. I got him to the vet as soon as I could, even waiting for over four hours to be seen at a new place sooner than my scheduled appt. I assumed that because he had some digestive issues a year prior, that he must be dealing with bad constipation. I was fully expecting an enema, or laxative, maybe some meds. Idk. The vet was terrible, and after he ran the blood work and x rays, came into the exam room & told me “it looks like hell. His kidneys are failing. There’s some options you can take but you need to consider euthanasia. Today.” I was so distraught. I ended up taking him to my preferred vet for a second opinion. During the appt his heart stopped, and the (much kinder) vet said essentially the same thing. The vet also explained that both of his kidneys were enlarged, with one being severely enlarged. I knew then that it was time, and had to put him down.
this was all in one day. I know many others have had their pets for years, and I almost feel bad for feeling so sad after only having my baby for a year and a half. But I feel this loss so deeply. I feel incredibly empty. I have three other cats (my partners cats + one of mine), and I keep forgetting I don’t have four.
I was feeling guilty the first two days too. But after some research, and discussion with my partner (a medical student), his symptoms were indicative of a genetic/cancerous/developmental issue, I feel less guilt knowing this result was inevitable.
But I still feel awful. I try my best to keep myself distracted, but every evening it creeps up on me, just the emptiness of his absence. He was so special to me, and I miss him terribly.
im not sure what I’m looking for exactly with this forum, I suppose just not wanting to be alone in my grief.
