Hi, I'm not very used to do this, but here we go. My cat died yesterday, I found him dead at 4am, I was sleeping in the living room with him to take care of him, around 2am, I noticed he was breathing weirdly, so I decided to move him to a blanket cause it was very cold, he breath normally again, then I fall asleep, and that's when I woke up at 4 and found him, still warm. I still live with my parents so I called my mom and my Dad, and they checked he was dead, I automatically started crying, I felt horrible, I still do, because I couldn't understand what happened. To catch you up on the story, let's begin with last month when he had an urinary issue, and he couldn't pee and was on so much pain, my vet only told me to give him some pills and change the food for some with less sodium, so I did. But a month after, like a week ago, he started feeling so bad, he could barely move, so I took him to another vet, and that vet said he had well literally sand on his bladder, and crystals also, he was put on a treatment and spent almost a week in the vet hospital, when I visited him I notice he was peeing blood but the vet said it was normal and he seemed better, more active, happier for feeling better. However last Monday I had to pick him up and they had to sedated him to give him a bath, since cats are a little bit aggressive when they see a blower coming near them. So in the afternoon I went to pick him up and they changed his food, gave him some meds and we even had to buy some on Amazon because it wasn't available here, so I notice he was more active but still sleepy, so he remained to be sleepy for the rest of the evening, and then later he became more calm and more calm, until what I said at the beginning happened. I genuinely don't understand what happened, the vet told me he was OKAY, I was so happy, and now my heart is destroyed, my baby boy is gone and there's nothing I can do, I buried him in my backyard and I'm planning to plant a beautiful plant there to honor him, but I feel triggered when I the door to my backyard open and see a part of it, and when I go to the laundry space where he used to hang out, and whenever I go anywhere he used to be. I still have his biological cat mom, called Mila with me and a rescued kitten that just arrived at my house on September, called Mishi. And I love them deeply, but I feel so hurt for losing Soru, since he was practically mine in the house, he was my cat, I saw him when he was born, I was automatically in love with him, with his tiny furry self. He was born on August 2016 and his mom on 2015, she was given to us and we don't know the exact date of her birthday just like the kitten we adopted too on September. I feel so powerless because Soruyo was my baby, he woke up almost every morning, he would just bump his forehead to mine and purr and he would crawl in the cutest way possible so you could tell him he was cute and pet him and play with his belly and his back, he had so much hair!
I miss him so much, and I don't know how to deal with the pain, I don't want to do anything like wash my hair or take a bath, or brush my teeth, or do my homework. I just missed him so much...
