Derek: I to have recently lost a wife and my best friend. I hear your pain and understand it. In my case it was just Ann and I along with our two "boys", our two beloved beagles for more than 25 years. It has always been just Ann and I and we thought that was all we needed, each other. Now she is gone and I am left with a huge void in my life. I to am searching for meaning and purpose. I to am tired and exhausted each day and I to have trouble sleeping and finding peace of mind. Each day is about "staying busy" for me. Staying busy in this context is exhausting. I am told there will come a day when I will find purpose and regain my sense of hope and a future without Ann. I believe this, although I do not know when it will come. It has now been almost one year since Ann passed and in reality it has been over a year since we were able to talk to each other as she was in the care of Hospice at our home battling terminal breast cancer. I miss her each and every day and the pain is greatest when I am not "busy". I know in my case that allowing myself to not get enough sleep only adds to the problems I am dealing with. Personally I find that a good exercise routine helps me sleep at night. I also have seen my doctor for some sleep aids when I just can not sleep and I am starting to get run down. You have your son and your love for him and this purpose in your life is something you have and you must focus on. In some ways my two boys provide this to me. I know I need to take care of them and they are the focus of my life and are helping me get through each and every day. Friends are there as well, however as you stated they are there and yet we are alone. It's good people are there, however in the end we must find peace and purpose and move forward. Have faith that the day will come for you as I do that we will find peace and purpose and be able to move on without leaving our love for our special person behind. They were a big part of our lives and that will never change. A long winded response, however answering your letter has also allowed me to express my fealings and thoughts. All the best Dave PS: Ann I miss you and I'm taking care of the "boys" as I told you I would. They miss you as well. We know you are in a better place and one without pain.
