BB83

I’m sorry to hear about your situation too. It’s so hard to know what to do for the best really. I guess we have to just trust our intuition and hope for the best, as you say, if it’s meant to be then they will return, but it’s so heart breaking.

Thanks kayc. I do understand what you’re saying but we do still speak and see each other. It’s sad because he has changed a lot. I was with him a few days ago and he’s there but it’s like he isn’t present. I have read a lot of these threads and often your comments on them. I note that this happened to you ten years ago and I mean no disrespect but are you on this site still because of Jim? To talk only about this situation? Do you feel like you’ve never gotten over it? X

Hi All, Hoping to hear from people that have been through a similar situation. So basically I started dating the most beautiful man in May of last year and things were tough from the beginning really - his Dad had been ill for a very long time, but his life was in the final stages when we got together. It was such a hard time for my boyfriend and frustrating for us both and he ended the relationship just a few weeks before his Dad died in September, explaining that he could not cope with everything and needed to be on his own. I kept in touch as a friend and because I very much still care for him and wanted things to maybe work out with us further down the line. I’ve pretty much read everything I could on this site and on grief to try to understand his awful situation and his behaviour, and it really helped. Trouble is it is very difficult to gage what’s going on now really. It’s been 6 months and we’ve met up a few times recently and it’s as if we are a couple when we are together, but then he kind of cuts me off again. I know the grieving process can take a long time and his grief is incredibly complexed. I’ve learned that I do need to allow space and time, but I’m just so confused. One minute wanting to know me and be close to me and then cutting me off for weeks without a word. So I guess I’d like to hear from people who have been through the same - can you get back together and make it work after such an awful time in his life? I know we were not together that long before but we had a very intense relationship and I’m still very much in love with him. I really don’t mean for this all to sound me, me me - obviously this is a very hard time for him and I always take his feelings in to account, even though I can’t appreciate his loss as I still have both parents. any advice is greatly appreciated x