EK59

Hello again everyone Two years ago today in 2018 was Pixie's 10th birthday, truth is up until this point we never knew her birthdate. We only remember the anniversary date of when we adopted her and took her home for the first time (August 8th, 2008), my sister and I though still really wanted to celebrate her birthday that year though as we thought 10 years was a big milestone... all we knew was that pixie was born sometime in May so we decided on the day, May 15th. I still remember that day two years ago very fondly, my sister and her boyfriend came over to my parent's house and we showered pixie with many treats and toys, Pixie probably didn't understand what the occasion was but I knew she was still very happy as we were that day. Even though she was already 10 years old she was still happy, playful, and lively as if she was still a puppy, we were hopeful that we would get to celebrate Pixie's birthday for many more years to come... ...Pixie would have turned 12 years old today It's only morning where I am but I already feel today is going to be a hard day, every time I think back to two years ago I just break down and cry

Thank you to those who have spoken kind words and sent helpful articles. I understand the grieving process is never easy and can take a long while, but I am willing to do whatever it takes to heal and open my heart again. On a positive note I would like to share with you a dream I had a while back, I don't remember much except for at one point I was standing in the kitchen feeling hungry and looking for something to eat... and when I turned around I saw my old friend Pixie looking up at me with her little tail wagging excitedly, she looked so happy and healthy like I once remembered her being. I cried tears of happiness and hugged my dog before running off to go play with her... of course I felt quite sad when I finally woke up and realized it was only a dream. I texted my sister and my closest friend about this experience I had last night and both of them told me that Pixie had come to visit me in my dreams. I'm not really much of a religious person and nor do I dwell that much about the afterlife... but I do honestly believe she did actually visit me that time. I hope she'll come and see me again in my dreams soon...

Today, March 2nd 2020, has be 4 months since I had to say goodbye to my pet dog pixie We got her in August of 2008, she was the bestest friend a child like me at the time could ever ask for. Despite being a healthy dog for so many years, in August of 2019 right after I came home from vacation was when her health began to rapidly decline. I kept urging my dad to take her to the vet but instead he would yell at me and say "I already know what the vets are going to tell me." I don't think he would've known that when we finally took her to a clinic in late October, they told us that she was suffering from some form of lung cancer. Despite how heartbreaking the news was I still remained hopeful and that Pixie still might be able to stay around for another year or two..... she ended up getting much more worse a week later. Saturday Morning, November 2nd 2019 was the last day I said goodbye to my childhood friend. I felt so helpless standing in the garage watching my dad's car slowly drive off with Pixie wrapped up in her bed in the passenger's seat being taken to her final resting place, at 1:18 pm MST Pixie crossed the rainbow bridge. Four months later I still break down and cry over this. It just breaks my heart the most that I was told our puppy was being put down at such a short notice and at the most inappropriate time, how I didn't get to be in that final carride with her, and how I wasn't allowed to keep any of her ashes. I can't really talk about my parents because I already feel that they expect me to get over this, my biggest fear is that one day they will throw out pixie's collar, blanket, and bed which are the only things I can remember her by. And while my sister does understand and sympathize with my grief I don't want to seem like a burden and bother her all the time as she has her own responsibilities. I really want to get myself the help I deserve so I can finally heal, but being an unemployed college student my options are severely limited..