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JimJim

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About JimJim

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    Advanced Member

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Husband
  • Date of Death
    12/3/2018
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Halycon of Denver

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  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    Denver

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  1. Funny and sad story, Nancy and I were returning home from work one evening, and there these kids in front of our complex, and they were playing with this cat, ya know how kids play with things, they were like holding this cat by the front and back legs, so we asked them to be a little more gentle, they then replied it's not our cat, and we don't know who it belongs to, apparently these downstairs tenants moved away and left the cat on it's own, how horrible is this, why would a decent person just abandon a pet, so Nancy tells me Jim lets take the cat upstairs and tomorrow we can take it to the
  2. I did have an officer ask me what I was doing with Nancy's drivers license around my neck, I told him why, and he just left it at that, you would have to shoot me before I would part with them!! The only way for me to sleep at night is to take meds and I also have to put into bed with me are some articles of clothing, even just the remote scent of her brings me some comfort, not enough, but some, I made a promise to Nancy in the hospital that I would never let go, would carry her to my last human breath, and that afterwards my issue will be solved as we will be together again under the love of
  3. Without Nancy being here to experience seeing new things together, I'm finding it difficult to have any feelings when doing anything at all, and finding someone else would totally be unfair to that person only because I could see me comparing to a fault, and that wouldn't be right, and besides loving Nancy for the 26 years together was more than equivalent to a lifetime, my only joy and purpose at this time are the projects I am putting together in her honor, are having a DVD put together of her life set to music with a short introduction by me, will be giving to family and friends, are findin
  4. Each day waking up, is the same as yesterday, maybe with a few variations, but each day missing my wife/missing my life, when Nancy left this world, so did I, at least the part of me that knew how to live, that part of me that experienced and felt all that life had to offer, and for better or worse, it was tolerable, as the one person standing with me, my life's partner Nancy made it tolerable, even the worst of times there was hope, believed in dreams maybe one day coming true, even in sadness we had joy, as long as we were together, we were unstoppable, and we both believed in that with ever
  5. Totally agree, believe that the one person we are destined to call our love, life's partner, husband or wife, Soulmate, the one that we believe in, and would willingly give our life for, believe that when we have this person in our lives, as my Nancy was for me, this is the reason for our existence, this is the answer to all the why's, this was my reason for reason, had a Dr tell me that I was a someone before her, my answer was perhaps I existed, but I wasn't alive, my life started once I knew the reason why, and my Nancy brought this to me, like you I have loved and been loved by the most be
  6. Your physical along with your mental state sounds twofold, and are so sorry to hear of your dilemma, and I totally get the other set of eyes knowing the whole you, Nancy could tell what I was thinking about just by looking at me, as I her, the telepathy is just there, and that I believe only happens once in a lifetime, the hardest part is that nobody understands me any longer, getting thru this crazy world is hard enough, but when you have your life's partner with you then everything seems OK, good or bad, as long as you are together, the world could end tomorrow, and that would be okay, as lo
  7. That is the greatest tragedy of all, being left behind you read stories in the newspaper about how someone lost their life trying to save the other, or how an accident took the lives of a family all at once, of course those being a tragedy in itself, but as I'm reading the story, I can't help but feel envy that as together they lived, together they perished, nobody left behind with a shattered life, excuse my morbidity, but I wish to God that could have been my fate, as Nancy and I lived as one, we should have left as one!!
  8. This is exactly on the mark, as each day I will find chores and such that need to be done, or sometimes I will just make some up, finding that killing time is the only way to get thru the day, and it's the same vicious cycle over and over again, or some days sleeping till 2 or 3 just so I don't have tp be awake, as in my dreams she is still here, and the reality of it all is non existent, except for her visitations, as these are a blessing and a gift, I am constantly thinking of Nancy no matter where I go, or what I am doing, as everywhere I may go, we have been there before together, the Carp
  9. I can truly appreciate the art of time healing the wounds cut so deep, losing Nancy as I try to explain to to friends, was so much more than losing my life's partner, I lost my life, everything I knew it to be gone, just like that, all my dreams and hope vanished as I was not just living for myself, but for the both of us, and starting over is impossible, how do you start over, not that I even wish to, losing your reason for living, when you've had the one person from this entire world, the one person that loved you no matter what, the feelings of security from all the bad things that can happ
  10. The pain is unbearable I know, like everything you believed in is gone, I feel like when Nancy left, why didn't I too, why was I left here to suffer with no comfort in sight, and I did attempt to be with her, to go to where she is now, my thought was if I can not be with you here, then I will go there, as you can see I failed, friends and family say I was lucky, I say otherwise! Are going on 2 and 1/2 years now, and the pain is still there, a month after Nancy left me, I was a trainwreck, and still are, but everything seemed surreal, like I was looking at myself from someplace else, even thoug
  11. Took over a year before I started having dreams and visits, I thought maybe Nancy was upset with me, or stopped loving me, only to find out she was protecting me to keep me safe from harmful emotions as I was in a touch and go situation at the time, and now that I am more stable, I see her mostly each night, sometimes skipping a time or two, some of the things I practice are meditation, beginners Astral traveling, don't know if these methods are to blame for the increase, but either way are a content man in that forum!! I agree that it is better to stay silent or just a simple I'm sorry will s
  12. Nancy had these really old antique rings that were handed down to her from her grandmother that escaped from Poland during the German invasion, she treasured these rings as they were valuable, but mostly had more sentimental value, even during her broke periods prior to meeting me, she would never pawn or sell them, she would only wear them during special Jewish holidays, well I carried them with me as I was preparing to have them encased with her ashes with our cemetery plot, was at a motel 6 for a few days, and they were stolen, it breaks my heart to think they were sold to buy drugs no doub
  13. The visitations as I like to call them are very real, and you are correct Nash in that the amount of energy it takes to manifest a visit is enormous, a lot of it due to them appearing in human form, as they are now all spiritual, but appear as you remember them so that our 3D brain will understand, as we are not yet evolved as much as we think we are? My medium will only arrange to see me every 120 days, as she explains it, is to allow Nancy to recover from all the energy spent to make contact, and you know Nash, Dr.s tell me that there was nothing I could have done to prevent Nancy from leav
  14. I know right, I mean you go from having a life one moment, and then the next it's gone, just like that, gone! Friends and family, they still have their lives, nothing has changed for them, and I understand in their own way they are trying to help, but I have to tell you when they give me sayings like, at least she's no longer in pain, or she's in a better place, I correct them and say, actually a better place is with me, and you didn't look into her beautiful brown eyes, when after coming home from work, the moment I stepped into the house, the Dr's office had just called to schedule an endosc
  15. Ya know Gwenivere, it's a struggle each morning just getting out of bed, thinking about things that have to be done today, and work is the most difficult, dealing with other people's issues, makes me want to drop off the radar, poof, just disappear, my way of not recognizing life, life has told me, sorry Jim but I am going to force you go through the rest of your life without the one person that matters most to you, and I don't care how much pain this causes you, as I am in charge and you're not, you control nothing, so whine and cry all you want, I've already made this decision, so tough!! So
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