manno

I can’t be more thankful for your kind wishes and helpful words. Time will certainly heal and I can’t wait for the day I see him again 😊❤️

Here are some photos of my boy Marty ☺️ Thankyou for your kind words. Kay my heart aches for you - I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to send me all of the information you have. It is overwhelming knowing that there are complete strangers who do know what you are going through and can let you know it’s okay to be devastated. I think things have been a little harder considering all that is going on in the world at the moment I am confined to my home for 14 days since recently being overseas and must work from home too. It’s hard not initially being able to get away and have a breather.. I see his hair everywhere and I keep seeing things in the back yard that I think are him. I know I will get through this eventually but had never grasped how hard it would be to lose a pet.. I guess you really don’t know how significant they are to you until you don’t see them all the time. I think I will start to talk to him.. I went out tonight and just told him I missed him. It was a little too hard to do at the moment. Maybe after some time I will feel more comfortable going over to him. Thankyou for your kind words and thoughtfulness.. You have really helped me feel like I am going through something but not alone.

I scramble for words to say.. I have never dealt with much death in my life until last night. I had to let go of my 15 year old golden retriever, Jasper, who I was fortunate enough to spend 13 years with. The difficult decision to euthanise him came due to natural cause.. my boy was old, he couldn’t stand, his back legs were no longer working and his body was shutting down.. he was ready. It was so painful to see you still smiling, you never showed any emotion other than overly happy.. you made my day, every day. My bubbly boy.. I was 11 years old when we picked you up.. I won’t ever forget that day.. it is embedded in my brain. Your years saw me through the end of primary school, all of secondary school, university, you shared me with my first love, who you also fell deep in love with, my mental health battles, everything. Only on Saturday, the day before you passed, I was telling you that I bought a house that day! You were deaf and couldn’t hear me but my excitement made you smile and dance! I never stopped to realise that you were always waiting for me.. always.. for 13 years all you did was wait to see us to make us smile.. then patiently wait for us to come home again and do the same.. you were so selfless. There was never a day that I came home and you weren’t waiting for me. We have been overseas for 3 weeks and you waited until the day we came home to say goodbye.. thankyou for waiting.. I have never felt pain like this. My chest hurts and my stomach and legs are so tense, even after 24 hours. I can’t eat.. I can’t sleep. I want to lay out in the garden where we buried you and sleep and talk to you. I can’t smell you anymore, I can’t sleep again tonight, I can still hear you walking around and panting. I ran out before at 11pm and scrimmaged through your drawer to find your leash, covered in your hair.. holding it close to me for the night. I want to hug you, I want to smell you.. I want to physically feel you again I miss you so much it hurts. My heart is so full of the memories, but so broken. Thank you for loving me unconditionally.. you have changed my life. I love you so much. I know it is natural, but if anyone has any helpful ideas to help the grieving please let me know. I am terrible at coping with physical loss. RIP my baby boy 01.03.05 - 15.03.20