February 10, 2020 my family and I had to say farewell to our 6.5yr old Husky Skye. My wife called her "Baby Lady". We got her at 3mos old. She was diagnosed 3wks earlier with Lymphoma, (symptom appeared to show up out of nowhere) chemo/rescue could not slow down to give us a little more time with her. Disease turned out aggressive and we had to make the decision. We were told she wasn't going to beat disease, even if chemo helped, so I prayed for strength. We were blindsided and it tore my world apart. I felt this was unfair to her and us. We feed her proper food and regular vet visits. She was supposed to be with us for longer, so we believed. Those last weeks were incredibly tough as she isolated herself(told that was typical behavior), choosing to stay outside away from us. Wife made her special meals(no longer liked her kibble)and we slept downstairs, as she no longer would go to our room(slept on our bed or her couch when well). We laughed in the past, as she would leave us downstairs to go to our room when she was tired. She was a happy and spoiled girl. Wife and I planned vacations around her, as she was our baby. Was planning another in near future. My family called her "my dog" as she gravitated to me when I was around. I didn't want another dog when we lost our Golden Retriever, Lex (9yrs old/cancer)3mos before we got Skye. He was my wife's shadow. I wanted to do better this time around, so Skye and I enrolled in training classes (told it would be good as Huskies can be stubborn)as a pup and took her every week for years, which included doggie ice cream walks and annual corn maze in fall. I spent a lot of time with her and often made her go for walks when she seemed perfectly content staying home and being lazy. We were told huskies were high energy, but not her and as older adults, we were good with that. I feel as though part of me died along with her. I was proud of her and didn't realize how happy she made me. I have lost family members ( no immediate)in past, but I don't remember it hurting this much. I had the bond with her that I didn't have with our Golden and now feel guilty. I am still trying to make sense of losing her so quickly and unexpectedly.It's been over 5wks and I can't talk about her ir look at photos without crying and often wake up in middle of night and 1st thought is she's gone. I'm stuck and don't enjoy other things in life right now. I have read many grief support articles and recently enrolled in a monthly pet loss bereavement group, which recently got cancelled(probably covid related). My wife appears to be in a better place than me, and my kids(adults) seem ok. I am not sure if I need more time and will eventually accept/live with her loss or need professional help. I do not feel I am in crisis(maybe denial), however, she is constantly on my mind. Anything I should be doing to feel better? I hope I will see her again. One of my beautiful girl's last photos. Many of posters are in similar situations so I welcome their input and my condolences on their loss. Thanks for listening.
