For nearly 8 months I have felt nothing but guilt over my cat’s Buttercup, death. I didn’t cause his death but in my sadness over potentially losing him I had only prolonged it.
My first mistake was not giving him put down when the vets told me to. My entire family left the decision up to me and I know it should be but I just could not handle it.
My second mistake was at the time I was pet sitting and didn’t take the opportunity to spend more time with him. The family offered to get someone else but I refused so I only got a few hours a day with him.
My final mistake was on his final night I just went to bed instead of been by his side. He died alone, in pain and in the dark all because I couldn’t stay by his side and help him rest.
In the days that followed I thought about suicide twice and only didn’t because I was afraid I would die slowly from the wound.
To this day, almost every night or time that I am able to just think I get flashbacks to the week he died and Barely am able to hold back the tears
