I would like to thank everyone who responded to my post. Everyday seems different right now. I do firmly believe that writing helps me to get my feelings and emotions out. I am glad that I found this site. I appreciate the feedback and I will continue to read about grief and write about it here and in a journal so I can heal.
I am finding that I can talk to one sister and not so much to the other. When I spoke to my younger sister yesterday, she gave me some perspective about the dynamics of my family. The sister that died was the middle child of five. I have an older brother and sister and then there is my younger sister and I. So my younger sister said that my middle sister was a bridge between the older siblings and us. I think she is right. When we were younger it seemed that anything that went wrong in the house was blamed on "one of the three little ones" so when I spoke to my older sister and she was remembering things about Joanne (sister who died) I was getting a little defensive. I guess I didn't like the memory she was sharing. I just wanted to get off the phone.
I have decided that until I can process some of my feelings more, I am going to refrain from talking to people who may bring my anger to the surface. I think this is a better way to handle the anger from all of this. This way I don't say something that I may regret later. I just need some time to myself, to reflect on the relationship I had with Joanne.
Thanks