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paula__

Contributor
  • Content Count

    12
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  • Last visited

About paula__

  • Rank
    Member

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    dog - best friend
  • Date of Death
    May 11th 2020
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Vet

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Barcelona
  1. Hi everyone, I wanted to share something today. Lately I've been avoiding going out because when I go for a walk I use to pass by the same places I went with my dog (passed away three weeks ago) so today I went out and I did it again, I went to the same places and it hit me again just how much I miss her... I've also been avoiding friends because I'd rather be on my own when I go out but I'm afraid I'm just so sad and trying to avoid my emotions to feel less hurt. I feel this empty loneliness and no purpose most of the time too... I try to tell myself that I can get through this if I do it for her, because she would want me to be okay. I must do it and I need to feel stronger... Maybe some of you have felt this way too? Anyway I just felt like talking to someone about it, I wish you're all okay
  2. Thank you, I'll check it out! Sending you a hug
  3. I know it's so hard but it's important to avoid those feelings... You would have done anything for him and I guess you knew he enjoyed doing that, having those habits, so it wasn't something bad when you did it. I mean focusing on the good things and good moments with him are the best you can do, I'm sending you love
  4. I understand you, that's what I tried to describe, thinking about how I left her there and feeling guilty that I didn't have the option to bury her and that getting her ashes was too expensive for me, it breaks me not having a place to go and talk to her, feel that she is there. I've been thinking of creating some special place for her where I can go and honor her or keep her memory... I don't know I miss her so so much and I keep having dreams that she's alive and that I want to keep her no matter what, and they feel so real. I wish we can get to feel this peace with their absence, feeling a connection with their spirits because it's still them
  5. Thank you for sharing this with me, I'm so glad that you got to make such a special bond with Kodie even after your loss (by the way they're both so beautiful!) and I totally understand what you mean with Arlie... He seems like the one who completes you, who knows you so good and looks for you all the time. I think my passed dog meant that to me too, she will have the most special place in me always. It's so hard to describe how important they can become to us, but I wish I can give my future new companion all the love and create a new bond whenever I feel ready
  6. Thank you for the articles, they help me feel more understood
  7. Also, that dream you described seems like the sweetest and warmest thing, I'm happy you got to experience it. Maybe it means she really did come to see you 💛
  8. Hi, I'm so sorry for your loss and the circumstances in which you had to lose your dog... I'm a college student too, I lost my dog just this week and I felt like I understood you while reading this. I wanted to tell you that maybe you could keep your dog's things, nobody should throw them away if they mean so much to you, as they help you remember your dog. And also know that even if you feel your family won't understand why you still can't get through your grief, it's okay, they say grief doesn't have a time, and there's not a good or wrong way of grieving... Just try to take as much time as you need and keep using forums like this whenever you need some support 💛 It seems easy to say it but it's really hard doing it, I know because I'm still figuring out how to deal with this... I just felt like trying to cheer you up. And I wish some day, if you're looking for it, you can get professional help, it may be really good for anyone. I'm sending you a hug
  9. Hi everyone ❤️ I came new in here a few days ago since I lost my dog this week (I had to put her down) and I need some advice. I loved my dog so much, we had an amazing bond and she was literally a light in my life, I'll keep her forever in my heart and I wish I could still protect her. I was the one in the family who took care of her lately so now at home they all seem to feel better than me, and they want to get a new dog. They know how I feel but they're getting it next week, and I'm okay with it because I will give him plenty of love and a new home, but still I think I'm not ready for it as I'm still grieving the loss of my little one... And I still don't know if I feel at peace with her death, it hurts to look at pictures of her but I also can't stop picturing her and missing her. I'm afraid that having a new dog at home won't help me get through my grief in a good/comfortable way. I don't know exactly what advice to ask for, but I guess just some opinions would help. Thank you ❤️
  10. I'm sorry about that, having the chance to say goodbye is really important... I wish you got to feel better over the years and keep him in your heart always. Thank you for the kind words and the reminder, they mean so much right now. I'm grateful that I found this forum, it's such a nice place for comfort.
  11. First of all, thank you for the quick reply, it helped me to think in a different way. That's such a sweet story, I should focus on feeling that the emotional and spiritual parts as you say are forever in me... I wish her little spirit is at peace now.
  12. Hi everyone, I had to decide to put my so loved dog to sleep yesterday. She was a part of me, I grew up with her and now that I'm 20 I was always by her side, taking care of her. She was the sweetest. Lately she started getting worse, she was 14 years old, and I try to think I did the best decision. Her last moments were actually nice, I held her in my arms and she fell asleep on me and I'm so glad I was with her. The moment the vet asked me what I wanted to do my head was all foggy, I said yes to communal cremation and now when I think back I'm all worried and confused about it. I can't stop picturing her little body, and I wonder where she will be now, how the procedure of cremation will be. I fear people not being careful with her body even if it sounds irrational... I'm sorry for the description but I picture her being thrown in a pile of other dead dogs and it breaks me... I guess it isn't like that but I can't find any info on how the process works, and my mind tricks me. She was just so fragile and I keep seeing that final moment in my head, leaving the room when she was gone and thinking I left her there, and she's not coming back. And her little body was left there, separated from me... I don't know what to think, I'm sorry if I got too sensitive but any advice would be appreciated. Thank you, I'm sending love to all of you
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