Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Olegeezer

Contributor
  • Posts

    11
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Husband
  • Date of Death
    January 1, 2016
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    Midwest City, Oklahoma

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. Hi Joyce, Sorry to hear you've bee ill. I hope you're on the mend. Hospitals aren't meant for vacations anymore, are they? I'm back to popping in now and then. I suppose I'm that proverbial bad penny. lol One foot in front of the other... Darrel
  2. Joey... First of all, I feel for you. I've been (and in some ways always will be) where you 're at. You found a good place here. There's lots of people here who just try to be helpful and supportive. A big piece of advice from my "for what's it's worth" department...don't listen to those that are telling you to move on, or to get over it. Nobody really understands this grief crap unless and until they have been through it first hand. And if they have, they wouldn't be telling you to get over it. Right? We all get over it at our own speed, as we want to, when we want to. Some get over it quickly. Some never completely get over it. I think I probably fall into that second category. My wife and I were together for 41+ years. I'm into my 6th year now without her, and I still miss her physical presence fiercely. I still talk to her picture every day. Maybe there's something wrong with me, but I honestly don't think I ever want to completely get over her. We were too much a part of each other. Grieving is a journey. It's a road bent and twisted like a pretzel, full of potholes and speedbumps. Things will get better for you in time. Time heals all wounds. Allow yourself to grieve, and even to hurt. If you don't you will never be able to look back and enjoy the good memories. I treasure those memories. They are all I have now. One foot in front of the other... Darrel
  3. I managed to put another trigger day behind me this past Sunday. My wife and I tied the knot on March 7th. This year's would have been our 46th anniversary. I am so totally and eternally grateful for the 41 years that she and I were together. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. To borrow a phrase from a good movie, "she made me want to be a better man." I still so terribly miss her physical presence. But on New Year's Day, 2016 our time together had to come to an end. The toughest decision I ever had to make was the decision take her off of "life support." Doing it was the only right thing to do, but that didn't make it any easier for the words to leave my mouth. But I suppose that that sort of decision should never be easy. This apartment sure seems empty now. Not only because my wife is no longer here, but also because my little fur baby isn't here anymore either. Now it's just me. I manage to keep myself occupied each day. But even though I'm into year 6 without my wife, there are still too many days when the silence is awfully deafening. I'm not sure that I will ever get over my wife no longer being here with me. Heck, I'm not even sure that I want to. I still miss her presence terribly. There isn't anything to do except to continue putting... One foot in front of the other... Darrel
  4. That's all any of us can do Kay. Practice makes perfect, right?
  5. Kay, what you do is really all any of us can do. Tomorrow never exists until it becomes today. I've always valued the following quote from Henry Ford..."if you think you can do a thing, or if you think you can't do it, you are right." We all shape our destiny one thought at a time. And we have absolute control over what we think. When you feel any kind of negative on your mind, replace it with a positive one. It's totally impossible to think about both at the same time. And try to find a way to share a smile with the world every day. As my grandmother used to say...it takes fewer facial muscles to smile than it does to frown. Have a terrific day, Kay. One foot in front of the other... Darrel
  6. Kay, I had pretty much the same thought about God and the 4 month time frame. I reckon I should've said I only wanted the homeless gig to last one month. I kept the 4 month time frame on my mind and thought about it intensely every day. I didn't know how the homeless gig was going to end, I just had total faith that it would. When my wife met me I was a terribly negative person. And a chronic worrier. I worried myself into a bleeding ulcer at the ripe old age of 15. But shortly after we got married, my wife took me to a B Dalton bookstore and we bought every positive thinking book in that store. And she made me read every one of them. And she converted me. That is what the book I'm writing is going to be all about. I could talk about it for hours, and bore everybody to tears. lol One foot in front of the other... Darrel
  7. I don't remember just exactly when it was that I dropped off the face of the earth here. It's good to be able to be back. I have relocated. I now live in Midwest City, Okiehoma, which is a suburb of Okla. City. I spent some time homeless year before last. I had a conversation with God when that adventure began. I told Him that I would not accept it lasting more than 4 months, but that I had to leave it in His more than capable hands to make that come true. That adventure began on July 5th, and I moved into this HUD apartment here on November 4th. That is exactly 4 months to the day. No one will ever convince me that there isn't a God! Day after tomorrow will be my 6th wedding anniversary to get through without my wife here with me. There aren't very many triggers for me anymore. But our anniversary and her birthday in August still mess with me. I spent 2/3 of my life with she and I stuck up each other's "posteriors." What a blissful 41 years that was. We never grew tired of being around each other. We turned down better incomes just to take the kinds of jobs that allowed us to be together during our work hours. But I now live my life with nobody or thing to share my life with. We were not able to have children, and she and I both had outlived our parents and siblings. I had to put my little dog to sleep in mid-October of last year. A double whammy---congestive heart failure and kidney failure---took her really quickly. So I live the remainder of my time completely alone. But all is good, all things considered. I still have good health. I am able to keep my sanity and my good frame of mind by the sure certainty that my wife and I will re-unite for eternity when my time here on earth comes to an end. I keep busy working on a non-fiction book that I had kept on the back burner for way too many years. But things happen when they are meant to happen, right? It's good to be back. One foot in front of the other... Darrel
  8. Gwen-Dee & Kieron...thanks for the welcome. It's good to see some familiar names from the past. I hope that you are all healthy and that your load by now has gotten a little easier to carry. I'll be doing a new post after while to talk about what's been going on, etc. Until then... One foot in front of the other... Darrel 😎
  9. Thank you Marty. Now that I can be back, I'm certain you will see more of me. I couldn't log in with the profile name I used before. But I figured the "one foot in front of the other" line would give me away. lol Here's hoping you are well Marty.
  10. Howdy Gin, and thank you. I hope all is well with you. One foot in front of the other.
  11. I found this place in Dec. 2016, after my wife had been gone for almost a year. I had to fall off the face of the earth some time ago when the computer I had then stopped working. I just recently was able to replace it. So, I'm just sticking my head back in to say Hello. And I'm still...putting one foot in front of the other. Darrel
×
×
  • Create New...