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Everything posted by Dogmom

  1. Hi all. Those days of special significance are especially hard, but truly every single day is hard. I still cry at some point every single day, and it has been nearly 1 year and 4 months since I no longer had my little Roxie to hold. I think we all have a "special something" within us that made us such loving pet parents, and that same "special something" has made it especially hard for us to endure this heartbreaking journey. I do take some solace knowing I am not in this life journey alone, but it is a very lonely path...
  2. Today it is 1 year since my sweet, sweet little Roxie was no longer with me. I miss her every single day, as I will the rest of my life. She was my special little baby and I was so fortunate to have her in my life for 15 years. Yet no amount of time would have been long enough. I never wanted to live life without her. She was, and still is such a big part of me and our lives together. She was SO loving. She would snuggle in my arm or on my lap and give me infinite kisses. She was happy to do whatever I was doing. She loved to lay outside in the sun, go on a walk in my arms, play with her tiny yellow tennis ball, lay in her blanketed beds, go for a car rides on my lap even on long trips, eat salmon stick treats, wait for that last bite of what I was eating while sitting at my feet, eat cinnamon toast tidbits in her bed, play with her stuffed bunny, watch her buddies Zoe, Dora, and Milo, visit with GiGi and Boppop and Erin and Liana, and Shawn, go on plane trips in her blue "under the seat" travel bag, bark at other dogs or the doorbell, lift her little right leg to pee, investigate her back yard, wear her purple harness on walks, eat peanut butter off the spoon, paw at my leg to be picked up, wag her little tail when I came home from work, give me endless licks, but mostly she loved me and I loved her and I always will. She was the joy in my life and her absence breaks my heart. If only I could turn back time. In a response to another member, Marty mentioned a poem by Nessa Rapoport: Undo it, take it back, make every day the previous one until I am returned to the day before the one that made you gone. Or set me on an airplane traveling west, crossing the date line again and again, losing this day, then that, until the day of loss still lies ahead, and you are here instead of sorrow. If only I could make this happen... It is unfathomable to me that a year has passed. That last day is burned into my being forever. If only I could take it back. I dread the noon hour today. It is a marker that my brain cannot forget. I miss you so much my sweet Roxie, my best friend and soulmate. You will be with me in my heart and soul forever... Sending you endless kisses, Mommy
  3. Oh Frankie... you have me in tears. This is a beautiful tribute to Coco. You are so good with your words and talented at writing poems. I love this picture of Coco at the beach. Did he like to go in the water? I am so sorry for the loss of your best friend. It’s been 7 months for me without Roxie. Still crying every day. I think I always will... there’s so much sadness in my heart. I wish I could give you a hug. I know we both very much miss our babies and could use an understanding hug. I’m hoping life brings you some happy moments to help soften your pain and lighten the darkness. hugs, Michele
  4. I am sooooo sorry to hear that you lost your sweet Westley last night. When you've had someone you love for nearly your whole life, it's truly impossible to imagine that they are no longer physically with you. Everything around you is a reminder of them because they were so much a part of your daily life. Those feelings of disbelief, numbness, sorrow, and immense heartbreak are what we first feel and are very normal. Those of us that have loved greatly, mourn greatly. Crying is very much a part of it. It's ok to talk to others about how you are feeling and this site is a nurturing, safe place to reach out. There are so many helpful resources for you. Know that you are not alone as we all understand your sadness. Sending virtual hugs... and thank you for posting Westley's picture - he was a very handsome boy!
  5. You are all so articulate and comforting in your responses, and you truly understand the depth of our bonds with our loved ones and the resultant emotional distress living with their loss. Thank you for the kind words, love, and virtual hugs. It means so much! If it wasn't for this forum, I would have no one to "talk to" about how I feel. It is my safe zone, and your words really do make a difference. πŸ’— Thank you Marty and Kay for the helpful articles...
  6. Reading all of your comments reminds me why I keep coming back... they are spot on and remind me that I am not alone. It's like you all are reading my mind. It's been 6 months and I still cry every day, I still think of Roxie so many times through the day and I miss her so much. I may have a couple of "better days," but then so easily I go right back to where I was 6 months ago and every day since then. Last week was especially bad. I too love my other dog, Zoe, with all my heart, and thankfully she has been here for me through the grief of losing Roxie, my Dad, early retirement, and living with the effects of the pandemic. I am not sure I would be here myself if I didn't have her. But Roxie was my soulmate of 15 years and it is not the same. I too want this year to be over with and yet the passage of time means more time has passed from having our loved ones. I don't want to cry all the time, but I am afraid that if I don't cry, that it means that I am not thinking about her as often, and that then I am betraying her memory. I know this is a normal grief process, but I don't feel like I can stop it. I am missing my Dad as well and sadly feel like I haven't been able to fully grieve his passing because Roxie left me just 3 weeks later. I guess that instead of wanting this year to be over with, I wish we could go back in time and change everything that happened this year (and 2019 for you Kay). I have attached a picture of Roxie from Oct 13, 2019, nearly I year ago. We are all in this nightmare together... I am thankful that have each other, although I feel horrible for the reason. Know that my empathy spills over for all of us, and I hope that someday the nightmare will be over... ❀️ Michele
  7. Mine too, and it feels like it will never be any different... grief and guilt going hand in hand...
  8. For me, I think the mornings are the worst. I wake up knowing that I have another day ahead of me without having my little Roxie beside me, and the reminder that I will never see her again. I took early retirement in June, and so I have a lot of free time "stuck" at home. I find myself replaying her last 2 days over and over in my head. Those 2 "bad" days are so fresh in my mind and I still cry when I remember them. Maybe less than before, but it's still every day. Tomorrow it will be 21 weeks... I miss her so much... This has been the worst 5 months of my life. 😒 Hoping that all of you are finding some moments of healing. We so desperately need them...
  9. Kayc, I have been thinking about you this past week and especially today. We mark the loss of our beloved time first by days, then weeks, then months, then years. But we miss them and love them no less. It is 20 weeks for me this week. I still cry every day missing my Roxie... You are in my thoughts today Kayc. I know how much you are missing your Arlie. Even though we are not there to sit by you or give you a hug, we are there with you in spirit and in understanding. We truly care and share your sorrow. Michele
  10. I am so sorry to hear that you lost your best friend, Chief. There are no words that can lessen the intense pain we feel when we lose someone so close. It is a special bond we have. Chief was there for you when you went through a difficult time, and you were there for him during his last moments. How comforting it must have been for Chief to be in your arms and to have you tell him that it was okay, and that you would always be there for him. That was a precious gift you gave to him. Do you have any pictures that you could post? We all understand what you are going through and are here to offer support. I lost my precious Roxie 18 weeks ago today. She was 15 years old and we were soooo bonded. We had been through so many life adventures and challenges together. I still can't belief that she is gone and I still cry everyday. It has been the worst 18 weeks of my life. I know that time will soften the pain, but I also know that it will take a very long time for me. She was such a big part of my life. Please know that I am truly sorry for your loss. Michele
  11. Such adoring eyes, showing so much love for you. I know you are missing Coco more than anything in the world, your feelings are well expressed in your poem. I can relate to every line. I am soooo sorry... Thank you for sharing this photo, Coco has such a sweet face. It's obvious you both loved each other so very much! πŸ’•πŸ’• Hang in there... take it one day at a time... that's all we can handle right now... πŸ’”πŸ˜­
  12. Thank you Alex. I am truly sorry about your loss as well. It is such a shock when they leave us so suddenly and unexpectedly, no matter their age. You are in my thoughts and I am sending you a virtual hug. I know it's not the same thing as hugging your precious baby, but it is filled with understanding and comfort. Take care of yourself.. Kayc, you are also in my thoughts as I know it is coming up on 1 year that you lost Arli... Sending you a hug too... πŸ’• Michele
  13. Well it's been 16 weeks today. There is a huge hole in my heart and I miss her more than words can say. I still can't believe she is no longer with me in life. She was the sweetest 4# chihuahua you could ever meet. She just loved to be held. She even gave "kisses" to strangers. She was not your typical chihuahua, she truly was special. We had 15 years together, but it was not enough... Our time together ended too quickly. I never imagined living without her but here I am having to do just that. It is the hardest loss I've ever had and it's going to take a long time to not be so sad nearly every minute of every day. She was such a big part of my life. I was lucky to have her and will forever mourn her passing. I love you my little Roxie. You will be forever in my heart.πŸ• β€οΈπŸ˜’πŸ’”
  14. Awww, what a cutie! Love his eyes! Chocolate labs are just so adorable, at any age. I am sure that yesterday was a rough day. I am hoping today is a better day for you. 🌺
  15. Thinking of you this weekend Frankie. Knowing it is an especially hard day today. I believe that Coco hears the birthday wishes coming from you and knows how much you are missing him. It sounds like you celebrated his birthdays in style! πŸŽ‚ He looks adorable in this picture πŸ•ΆοΈ. I read the 1st Kate McGahan book last night. Cried most of the way through it. Will start book #2 today. Thank you for suggesting them. I bought all three. Our lives are forever changed. I am trying to grasp the concept that even when our loved ones are not here, our love keeps them with us. It's a hard concept to accept. Hang in there today, and tomorrow, and every day thereafter. You are not alone in your feelings. We will love them forever and wherever they are now, they will love us forever. We were so fortunate to have them in our lives, even if only for a short while... πŸ˜­πŸ’” Sending you a virtual hug across the ocean today... Michele
  16. Kayc, you always have a very thoughtful and helpful reply. Your comment that, "It's very scary whenever we put ourselves out there like that and become vulnerable to love of another, but that is what we have to do to give/receive love. Without which the world seems a colorless meaningless place." We all did just that, we put ourselves out there and loved GREATLY, and now we are crushed by our loss. We would never not have wanted what we had, we just don't want what we don't have any longer... Both you and MartyT have commented that the greater we have loved, the greater we feel our loss. Very true words. Frankie, I am glad that you went to the hospital and relieved that there was nothing, but sad that the stress and grief brought you to this point. It is a testament to the strong mind body connection. I feel like we were hit by the perfect storm right now, losing a best friend, living alone, being isolated due to the virus, and lack of access to physical support systems. Even here, in Arizona, the usual grief loss support groups I looked into aren't meeting, and Telehealth counseling fell short for me. I'm starting an antidepressant this week. It's been 15 weeks now and I just don't feel like I am moving forward. I am stuck in the past of what I have lost, and not able to see any positives for the future. Intellectually I know that time will help with the healing, but am sidelined by how hard I am taking the losses. The one positive note in my life is that I have my other pup Zoe, who I LOVE with all my heart, but I don't have the same long term bond with her yet (she's 5 yrs old), like I did with Roxie (15 years), so it is different. But thankfully she is in my life, as she is a positive force for me every day. I am sorry that your family is not as supportive as you would like or need. Not everyone develops that special bond with their beloved pet as we have. So they'll never understand. But at least here in this group, we all do. Frankie is there anyone you know, friend maybe, that also has a dog and would be a good person for you to share your feelings with or spend time with? Would you be open to fostering a dog for awhile? How is it in the UK with the virus lockdown? Are you able to go out at all? What activities have you enjoyed in the past when you are not working? Are there volunteering opportunities? Anything to get you out of the house (if advisable...) and distracted from your thoughts? Well, please take care of yourself and know that others share your pain and sorrow and are sending positive thoughts your way. Michele
  17. Hard day today... every Thursday at noon I go back to those moments of "the appointment" when Roxie was no longer with me. I can't help but to mark the day/time in my mind. It's 14 weeks today but the images of the day are burned into my mind. I know I am not alone in this. Kayc - you mention the time that has passed since losing Arli in your responses, and Coco Forever is also doing the same. Being stuck at home without having the ability to find distracting activities to do because of the pandemic is making the grieving process so much worse. I ordered 3 of the books that Coco Forever mentioned, and I am still journaling by writing my thoughts and feelings to Roxie. I am taking it one day at a time... Thank you everyone for responding to my last post.
  18. Like Kayc, I am glad that you reached out for help and hope that you will keep their number close. I too am alone in my grief (I live alone) but am fortunate that I have my other dog Zoe as she demands my attention and love, and this provides distraction from endless ruminating. Experiencing grief and the ensuing depression is bad enough and then to add in the isolation due to the pandemic makes it SO much worse. Try to find some distractions, anything that will keep you busy. A house project maybe? I reorganized a few closets, did some outside hardware, started back up on my treadmill, etc. Tomorrow it will be 14 weeks since I lost my Roxie, my best friend, who was always there for me for 15 years, who knew me best. It's the hardest thing I've had to go through in life... Tougher than my divorce, or the loss of my Dad just 3 weeks prior to Roxie's passing. With my Dad, dementia and then a broken hip from a fall drove him downhill, and then he had sudden respiratory distress which I strongly suspect was Covid (he was in a long term care facility where many others died from Covid). We had some time to process his decline, although the end occurred rapidly. I have felt guilty that I am mourning Roxie "more than" my Dad. But then I read a short book, "The Pet Loss Companion" by Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio & Nancy Saxton-Lopez (available on Amazon), and there is a chapter titled, Losing Your Pet Can Hurt More Than Losing Your Parent, which helped me to understand my reaction. I have found this little book to be on target. The chapters are short, which helps when it is hard to concentrate. You said you have to deal with this alone, but you don't. Even though we are all far apart, we really are together in this sisterhood/brotherhood of having lost a beloved "best friend." I am glad that I found this discussion group. It is helping...
  19. Is there someone close to you that you can turn to to share your thoughts? Perhaps you will consider getting some grief counseling and/or seeing your Primary Care Provider to discuss your feelings. These are qualified experts that can help you with how you are feeling.
  20. What a beautiful picture of Coco looking up at you! There is such love in this picture! Thank you for sharing. I am glad that you are at least sleeping at night as I remember that this has been an issue for you. But yes, the day time is the hardest part of each day. Everything is a reminder, and once the "bad images" get triggered, we spiral downward with feelings of regret and guilt, and we replay those last moments over and over again. It becomes hard to remember all the good things when they are crowded out by the last bad moments, and the extreme sadness we continue to feel. I had a neighbor who is a Counselor tell me yesterday that being able to cry is a good thing, vs. holding it all inside. Well, I must be "really good" because I also continue to cry many times a day, every day. I feel like she took a part of me with her and I'll never be whole again. Her absence is excrutiating and she is always on my mind. I feel like I betrayed her trust and let her down by taking her from our world. I would give anything to be able to have a "do-over" of that day! It is unbearable and depressing, and I agree with you, life feels empty... I keep her blanket under my pillow at night, so I get it about the urn... If it gives you comfort, then it's okay. Thankfully I live alone, so have no one to judge my reaction to losing Roxie. Friends and family don't really get it, so I don't even try to explain it anymore. I think that we are special in how we love our dogs, more compassionate, kinder, loving, and caring than others that don't have such a close relationship with their pets. It is both our strength and our weakness... We've been privileged to have someone love us so deeply and to be able to love back. I think that Coco will always be that very special "boy" in your life and that it will take a long while for you to find some peace. But the love will never go away. I am hoping that our lifetime of good memories will eventually crowd out the bad memories of the last day/s. I feel your pain and wish that I could help lessen it. I am so sorry that you have to live without Coco being by your side. It is obvious how much you loved him. ❀️
  21. Hi Alyanna, I am sooo sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved Pucca. Our little chihuahuas bond so closely with us, and us to them, and to suddenly not have them here is utterly heartbreaking. We love them with all of our hearts. We revolve our lives around them and so our routines are forever altered. Their absence is jarring and painful. So many things around the house are reminders; toys, beds, blankies, dishes, pictures, leashes... I loved hearing your story of bringing Pucca home for the first time. I am glad that you are focusing on this good memory. How lucky you were to be able to grow up together with her. I'm sure she was especially important for you while you were going through those sometimes crazy teenage years! You were there for her "teenage years" too! I lost my 15 year old teacup chihuahua Roxie 3 months ago today. She was a little ball of white fluff. I still cry every day. She was such a huge part of my life for 15 years and the emptiness I feel is profound. I still look for her in all her usual places, her beds, walking around in the house, eating out of her little dish, going outside to go potty in her favorite spots. I miss holding her, kissing her, rubbing her little ears, just talking to her, everything... I think it is especially hard when they seemed "perfectly normal" one minute and then suddenly something is wrong. It doesn't give us a chance to process what is happening. It is clear that you loved Pucca and did all that you could to help her. That she was in your arms, and not alone when she passed away, I hope will give you some comfort. It is very normal to feel guilt, sadness, and have trouble sleeping and eating when you lose someone so close to your heart. I am still struggling, but I have found it helpful to journal my feelings. I "write letters" to Roxie. I try to remember all the good memories and recount them for her. I also write about how I am feeling. It gives me an outlet to cry/sob and to tell her how much I love her and miss her. I also had a few Christmas ornaments made with her picture on them, and I wear a little chihuahua pendant necklace. I talk to her "urn/box" every day. I keep it in the living room. I tell her when I am leaving the house, going for a walk, or really if I want to say anything to her. Maybe you could write letters to Pucca to reminisce about the good memories and to also allow you to express your feelings and love for her. I've also found it helpful to get back to my exercise routine. I usually end up crying, but it is a way for me to take care of myself. Please remember that it's okay to cry! You said, "I’m having trouble staying on the positive side and I constantly end up thinking about how she died and that she’s no longer here." Having these thoughts is also normal. It will lessen. I know it will, I have been through this with one of my other dogs, Ruby, 12 years ago. Never forgotten but the pain lessens. Know that others understand and feel your pain. I am glad that you had the courage to reach out on this website. Hang in there. I understand... Michele
  22. Yes, the nights are hard, but for me the days are worse. Everything in the house is a reminder of little Roxie. Particularly the "empty spots" where she laid in her beds. When I take Zoe, my other baby on a walk, or when we eat, or really anything we do, we are missing one of the trio. It doesn't feel right and I still haven't adjusted after 10 weeks. Coming home not having both dogs at the door to great me and give me nose kisses is excruciating (Roxie was the nose kisser). I'm actually considering moving to a new house because this one is so hard to live in right now. On top of everything else, I retired 2 weeks ago, and live alone (except for Zoe), so the emptiness and loneliness is profound right now. Where I live the virus numbers are rising since the stay at home order expired, so I limit leaving the house. You said you had a driving job. Did you take Coco on your trips? I just ordered a personalized pet memorial necklace "urn" so that I can put some of Roxie's ashes in it to wear all the time. That way she is always with me. Currently I have a chihuahua pendant on a neck chain and when I find my emotions overwhelming me, I'll rub it between my fingers. I also find that when I am in the car I end up sobbing...Maybe having something like this while you are on road trips? They make them for keychains too. As for the nights, I keep Roxie's blanket, the last one she was in..., on my bed under the pillow on the "other side" of my bed. That way I can feel it as I try to fall asleep. I think it helps a little. But maybe you could speak with a health care professional about your trouble sleeping, and also your general feelings. Do you have Telemedicine visits in the UK? It's ok to reach out for help... You are not alone, hang in there. As my daughter wisely reminded me, "of course you will never forget, but that pain will turn into happy memories, like we have of Ruby..." Ruby was the golden retriever my children grew up with. She passed away 12 years ago at age 13. I loved her so much as well, but the pain of losing her has softened over the years. With Roxie, she said, "That one hurt, she was bonded to you. She chose you. It'll feel fresh for a long time." Sometimes our children surprise us with their wisdom. Guess I did ok as a mom... LOL No one really knows the depth of our individual pain. But having this forum to speak from the heart, to listen, and to offer thoughts to others going through the same thing, can help. Keep coming back to share your feelings. We understand as we all know this pain...
  23. I am so sorry for your loss of Coco. Labradors are such loving dogs, filled with so much energy. I am sure Coco knew that you were only helping him to become the best that he could be and that he LOVED you with all his heart. I also talk to my Roxie, all the time... at home, at work, in the car, when I leave the house, pretty much everywhere. I have her picture for my phone background and that helps me to think that she is with me when I am not at home. I have her wooden box of ashes on a shelf in my living room, with a 8 x 10 favorite picture behind it. I can see it every time I walk by or if I am sitting on the couch. Many times a day I hold the little box, give it a kiss and tell her how much I love her and miss her. Crying the whole time... Today I spoke with a counselor recommended by Hospice of the Valley. She was listed under their Pet loss resources. She recommended that I create a journal of letters that I write to Roxie every day. That way I can talk to her daily. I'll give it a try. I am learning from her and all of you that there is no timeline and that it is ok to feel whatever I am feeling. It really helps to know that others understand. 15 years together is a long time... I am in my early 60s and it was just the 2 of us for 10 of those years. She truly was my better half. The last 5 years it was 3 of us (I rescued Zoe, a little mix breed pup). Still... it was just our little family. Now it doesn't feel right, both of us miss little Roxie so much. Hang in there, take care of yourself, and I hope that you find solace in knowing others understand and wish they could do something to help. You are not alone...
  24. Arli was a beautiful dog! I can see how you would have to wanted to just wrap your arms around him for a big hug! He looks so happy freely running in the first picture. I picture him doing this every day now that he is free of his pain and limitations. I see what you mean about the smiling. He was lucky to have you as his mom and to have a big fenced yard with the freedom to run. A sign on the fence with his name sounds like a wonderful idea. Would that be something you could make yourself? I know what you mean about doing special things (like putting up a fence) for them. With Roxie being only 4#, walking on the gravel (here in AZ most yards are gravel) was hard on her feet, so I moved gravel out of the way and made a path for her in the yard. I can still see the path now. When I lived in Chicago I had to shovel snow off the grass in the winter, and when I lived in Tampa she had to manage the St. Augustine grass which is very course and big. Here in Phoenix I put up lots of patio umbrellas to shield her from hawks and owls, and always watched her when she was outside in the back yard. I have a pool, so with her failing eyesight had to make sure she didn't fall in. I had throw rugs all over the house so she wouldn't slip on the tile or wood, and little doggie beds were everywhere. When on walks, she could only walk a very short distance (just to cross the street in her last weeks), and then I would hold her the rest of the walk. She loved being carried and enjoyed the chance to get outside. And of course we had our daily routine which is now completely shaken up. I suppose most people would be surprised at how we shape the moments of every day around our babies, but for me it was my life. So for me the loss Roxie, and for you, your Arli, and the other many pets in our lives is partially why the grief is so profound... Thank you for reading my words and offering support. Even though I don't know you, your compassion, empathy, and understanding are felt and very much appreciated. The picture of Roxie in the grass is on her last day... The 2nd picture she is with Zoe, and the 3rd picture from last November is one of my favorites because of the lighting and how she is looking right at me. It is the one I had enlarged to 8x10.
  25. Thank you for responding and offering words of encouragement and support. I especially took heart to your comments, "It is common to second guess your decisions in early grief, we think, if only I'd waited another day/week they could still be with us, but it was their time and it's not uncommon for them to rally at the very end...that does not mean it was not their time. Sometimes I think they put on a brave front for our sakes, they know we are hurting and going to miss them and they don't want us to be sad." But Roxie's big eyes as we held her at the vet made me feel like she was scared and this has greatly disturbed me... I can't get that image out of my head... And I sooo wish that I had waited just another day, "just in case." But I am left with the decision I made that day, knowing I can never take it back. Right now I don't think I could ever make the decision to go through that again. I am so sorry for your loss of soulmate Arli and also Kitty, both within such a short period of time. You are completely right about certain dogs being our soulmates. I had a golden retriever that I had to put to sleep 12 years ago at age 13 when she couldn't stand anymore. It was horrific and I greatly mourned her, but I guess 12 years has softened the pain. I currently have a 5 year old rescue mix (Zoe) that I LOVE VERY much, but Roxie was special. She saw me through a divorce, moves from Chicago to Phoenix to Chicago to Tampa to Chicago, to Houston and finally back to Phoenix. 15 years of being there with love, for me to hold, kiss, and hug. She endured many climates, houses, and even a few men in my life over the years... My granddaughter was born 9 years ago and has always had Roxie in her life. And my daughter for 15 of her 32 years. She was the one that brought her to our home! It's been 8 weeks and I finally put her beds away, but I can't wash the blankets (she loved to lay in super cushy blankets like the one in the picture) because I can still smell her in the blankets. I also keep her leash on the same hook I always kept it, and her ashes, paw print, some fur, and one of many pictures are in my living room on a shelf. There is no place in this house where there isn't a memory. I've even thought that maybe I can't stay in this house, but then I think that this house was the last place she knew and that I need to stay here for her spirit to know where to find me. Crazy thoughts I know but the brain does that with grief. I also lost my 81 year old Dad 3 weeks before Roxie left meD500FF64-C6ED-4C67-A1D4-766940845145.heic, so I am grieving for him too.... It's been a rough 3 months. And today was my last day of work - I am retiring after 40 years in healthcare. I am nervous about having more time at home as when I am home I have less distractions... But I do have a Counseling session set up for this Sunday as I am trying to find ways to take of myself. You are right, I know what I would say to someone else going through acute grief, but it is harder to internalize those same words. Thank you for being a contributor on this site. I see that you have provided kind words and support to many others. Do you have a picture of Arli that you can share?
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