My boyfriend and I have a beautiful ragdoll cat I call Bunny. We played with him as much as we could, but we both work and wanted to get him a little companion for the day time.
4 months ago, I came home with a tinny little fluffy ragdoll. His personally was unlike any pet I’d ever had. He was the most loving, innocent, playful and fearless little guy. I ended up getting so attached to him that I called him my baby. The cats got a long well and played together a lot. Because we were all isolated together, all I did was play, pet and enjoy their company. The little guy (who I called mouse) would wake me up with Purrs every morning and often cuddle at my side. I showered them with love and toys. The little one was so attached to me, he really had a special place in my heart. I took him to the vet because he had ring worm, and while there, the vet said it wasn’t a good idea to let him out on the balcony. I was redoing my balcony and spent all my time out there. Both of the cats were desperate to get out. I felt so bad to hear them cry. I knew if I watched them, they would be okay. So for months we all played out on the balcony. I watched them and everyone seemed safe. It was my biggest nightmare to think one of them would jump - and I imagined it sometimes which would often bring me horror. But while they explored, and got up on the table, they never tried to jump. They only wanted to play or sit in the sun.
Then 4 days ago, I looked down for one minute. I heard a noise. My little mouse had lept onto the table and jumped. I ran to the edge. I watched him fall all 40 flights down. I’ve never screamed like that. I’ve never felt like that. I don’t know what he saw, or what he was thinking when he fell. I don’t know how scared he was or if he was wondering where I was. He broke his neck right away at the bottom of the fall.
I don’t know or can’t say how much he suffered but it haunts me. I loved him like a little child.
Someone from another building had called the police after hearing my screams and they came up to my unit wanting to call emergency because of my grief. I was holding his little body. He truly was the most beautiful cat, inside and out. He was 5 months old, and I remember thinking earlier that day, I couldn’t wait to see what he would look like when he was older.
I am sorry for the long post. It’s been 5 days and I can’t really eat. I was prescribed pills to sleep and for the panic attacks. But every day I watch him fall, over and over in my head. I truly cannot come to terms with it. I blame myself of course. I knew not to let them out - I didn’t think it would actually happen. But I know it’s my fault. I am just so devastated I wasn’t careful enough with something I loved so so much. I used to love my balcony and now I see it as a horror scene. I miss my baby and I just want him back.
