Hi there, I know I'm very late to all this, but I'm currently going through.. a somewhat similar situation.
My dad passed 3.5 years ago, when I was 14. For the past several years, its just been me and her. I picked her up when she was down. I held her as she cried, I gave her advice in every area. In a way, I filled that spot (partially). I became her confidant and as my older brothers joined the Army, got married, and made a life for themselves, I took care of her and supported her (financially, emotionally, spiritually). My mom just started dating again, and about a month ago she found a man who she’s fallen head over heels in love with. He has the same name as my dad... I was so excited for her, I helped her look at guys and set up her dating profile (she works from home... and we’re quarantined so there’s literally no other way for her to meet people haha). It was fun! Then... it became real. About a week and a half after meeting each other, she told me she loves him. Then, as he’s been coming around more and hanging out with us more, they say “I love you’ and kiss/hug/cuddle in front of me all the time. I really like him, and I like the two of them together. I can tell he cares about her, but honestly its too much fro me, right in front of me, right now. No kid wants to see their parents kiss, let alone a guy that my mom just met a month ago! I told her about a week ago that they need to keep the PDA on the down low in front of me. it’s just too much for me right now. Go on the porch, or another room, anything. She couldn’t care less. She said she understood, but saying it and actually understanding are two completely different things and it’s honestly horrible. She’s said things like “God saved the best for last” “I can’t imagine my life without him” “If you loved me more you’d let me kiss my boyfriend” and “I’m just irritated that you’re not over it. It’s already been 3 weeks.”
Soooo yeah. There’s a crap ton more, and my siblings are even more unsupportive than me. But I feel like I shouldn’t be letting it affect me this much, and I should be happier for her. But I also feel like she needs to look at things from my perspective- that this new guy has already replaced my role, and my dad’s, in the 4 weeks she’s known him. That I’m leaving for college in 2 months, and she couldn’t care less about me. That if this guy is really “the guy,” they’ll have another 25 years together, and she needs to freakin cool it. ughhhhh I don’t know. Things are a little tense right now lol.
Julie, what was the outcome of all this? Have things gotten better lately? Did your mom and that man end up getting married? I'd love to know how things have transpired in the past 5 years, maybe to give me some kind of hope for the future.
