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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Jewl

Members
  • Posts

    4
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    boyfriend's mom
  • Date of Death
    October 2020
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    akron, OH
  1. he still texts me asking about my day. its so hard not to respond. I can tell he still loves me so much. I dont want to ruin my chances to get back together
  2. what if he won't forgive me for not talking to him when he needs me?
  3. I appreciate your directness and after reading some of these threads I have lost a lot of hope seeing such similar things happen to people. im going to try to make this about me and not belittle myself to be treated this way. its just really really difficult because I thought he was better than this. he is such a complex and unique person that im still so scared to lose him. its hard to face the facts of how this has effected us especially because we were actually so happy before and it felt so perfect that we just fit into each other. im going to try not to text him today and then ill try the same tomorrow and see if/when he reaches out. I just feel really lost and alone.
  4. my first ever boyfriend I dated for four years and it was great and his dad suddenly died and he changed. He took all his anger out on me and it was around the same time I was starting college. I met this great guy who was openly interested in me who I became instant friends with while I was still dating my first boyfriend. eventually, my first boyfriend and I broke up and I started dating the new guy a few months later. When we were still friends, he told me his mom had cancer and I was the only one who knew. This year, his mom passed away. He didn't tell me for three days. it was pretty normal and he didn't speak on it that much but I could just tell it was weighing on him and I just wanted to be able to be there for him. When we went home for Christmas break I really noticed a change in him, probably because it was his first real time being home without her. We decided to study abroad and we actually went and it was pretty normal at first. He met this girl that all our friends were mutual with and she was a really close friend to him... maybe a little too close. We were sent home because of corona and I actually quarantined with him for two weeks. Once we returned to his actual house he was super normal and I thought I had him just to myself again. Before I left for home, he broke up with me. He told me he couldn't love me because he cant feel anything. he told me he didn't want to do the same thing my ex did to me. he told me hes still so in love and wants to marry me but he just cant be in a relationship right now. he told me all these romantic things and meaningful things about how I changed his life. so when I went home, I honestly didn't feel like it was that different. its been about two months now and I talked to him a few days ago and he said we aren't getting back together but he still sees a family with me. he still misses me and wants me to be his best friend because he cant live without me. when we talk, its so normal and so fun. I know everything about this boy and I love him with my whole heart. im in complete shock that I lost him. he means more to me than literally anything. I feel so alone with such a deep sense of sadness that is incurable. all I want is him but I know thats not right. im just so nervous to go back to school and have everything be different. I want to let go but the only thing that makes me feel less awful is the fantasy that we can have a life and relationship again. I cant believe this happened to me twice with the only boys ive ever dated. I just need some kind words or advice to hold onto. Ps my first ex wrote me a 3 page apology and stuck it in my mailbox which isn't helping my emotions either
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