mick

Sure they do. Goodness, way back in the seventies we teens would listen in on the CB truckers, sometimes offer to help unload for a fee, sometimes,,,well

Tamara, you might try meditation, my late wife was into Buddhism and got me into it, Being a pragmatic, I was skeptical at first, but I read into it and it really works after practice. We meditated together and didn't always have a spiritual experience, but when we did, wow! I'm not kidding. Hard to describe, but from my own consciousness I seem to become one with a kind of a dimension that goes on forever. It is very peaceful. Then when I come out of it, I feel more like facing the world and its problems. There are many different types of meditation. We did mindfulness, but since my beloved wife passed in April, I am trying spiritual meditation but it is very difficult to clear my mind because i'm grieving so much, my wife is constantly in my mind. But I have the hope that I can make a spiritual connection with her. I don't know what happens when we pass, but I hope we can be together again, I am hurting so much, We were together 53 years.

My beloved wife of 53 years has been gone 6 months now. I am deeply mourning her. I always will. Life has lost its meaning. This, But Lately I have begun to hate myself for the times we disagreed, and when I should have been more loving and understanding. Not cherishing our time together. what I should have done or not done. If I could only go back with her and start over, now knowing how fragile life is.. and how much I should have expressed my love for her.

I lost my beloved wife 3 months ago. My family and Merys family all called and messaged for about 2 weeks, then not a word. I am kind of relieved to find I am not alone in this.Not only did they stop communicating, her brother is trying to steal her daughters inheritance of a house and all her belongings. If my grief wasnt enough. My daughter is starting a law suit, I left town and she told me to forget about it, do not talk to her brother. she will handle it. Just an example of how a family crisis brings out the best and worst in them. I guess people stop calling partly because the don't want to think of their own mortality, or they think I dont want to be disturbed, or maybe they have run out of "im sorry" "she is in a better place" and bull like that. None in the family have lost a spouse. Mery was the first in our generation. So they cannot begin to understand how I am hurting. This is the most terrible, awful thing I have ever faced in my 73 years. We were together for 51 years. I lost her to cancer. She was screaming in pain. She died in my arms. Hugging her as I did for so many years. All wasted away from that monster. She said she was sorry she got sick. Imagine her saying that? So the relatives cannot begin to understand the anguish a person has when they lose a beloved spouse.

My wife loved songbirds. Today I was sitting outside and a beautiful bird roosted right in front of me, and was just looking at me. I thought that maybe my beloved wifes spirit was in that bird. I don't know if that is silly, but id like to believe it.

I lost my beloved wife of 53 years three months ago. I have been a wretched, suicidal mess. With the virus I haven't even been able to go to the VA. But I found a way to feel just a little bit better. I email my late beloved every day. I keep her updated on my day, and to apologize for many bad things I said and done and the things I should not have said and done, and times I should have just shut up. I tell her how much I still love her, and sorry I did not not show enough affection and intimacy, taking her for granted. Cancer took her so fast, and I didn't realize how much I loved her until she passed in my arms. It helps to believe she is getting these emails.

My Psychologist call it grief spasms, when one in grief just starts crying for no reason, in a store, on the sidewalk. I suffer from this way too much. I lost my wife of 53 years together to the wickedest of cancers. 6 months from diagnosis she was gone and was in pain from radiotherapy and chemo. I brought her home so i could care for her. The last 2 days she was screaming in pain, just wasted away. The first 5 months were painful but meds helped and she was holding on to her weight. But the last week suddenly she was completely wasted away. all of her fat and muscle was gone. It was horrible to see her like that. She told me she was "sorry she got sick now", just when our little retirement farm in Puerto Rico was starting to flourish. Can you image her saying that? She died in my arms. I saw the light leave her eyes. Her bladder and bowels let go. I didn't cry at first. The ambulance arrived and pronounced her gone. I kissed her goodbye on her forehead. Still no tears. Then they came in with a gurney and body bag. Now that I could not take. I left the room until they drove off. Then the tears came... great heaving sobs. If the medics had not confiscated her opioids, I swear I would have taken them all. The next few days are hazy but her family came and gave me her ashes. By now I was a disabled man. trembling, difficulty walking, stuttering and the constant crying. I could never stay there now The whole farm was a trigger of inconsolable grief. So I left with one suitcase back to my daughter in the states. I did not care about the farm or anything else.. Her brother said he would sell it along with all her furniture especially the new dining room set she never got to use. her clothing. all the farm tools, every thing. the only thing of hers I packed was her ashes. I don't even remember the flight back. It has been 4 months now and her brother has sent no money. He is a grifter and I hope it doesn't get ugly I wish that I had spoken with her a long time ago about the good times and the bad. She had an affair when we were in college, but I loved her so much I let it go. Now I wish we had talked about it and gotten closure, but we didn't. That was 43 years ago and forgotten, now it is strange that it would come back to haunt me now and consumes me. I guess it is some kind of latent trigger I am "imagining" she cared more for her partner than she did me. the affair ended when he left he and went back to his home country. Didn't even write..just abandoned her. He was lonely and just used her for sex and a good time. I'm going to talk to a therapist next week and ill bring it up. I loved her with all my heart and soul... she was my life. She could do no wrong. If only I could turn the clock back and talk about our life together. Get all the good and bad out. We were together all our adult life so there would be a long story. When she got the diagnosis I only wanted to say good positive things to her, even when her mind began to falter a little bit. Now, 3 months later, I cry several times a day. and cannot sleep. She was the love of my life. I am an introvert, and she was an extrovert, but she was patient with me when i didn't want to go to a party or something. The triggers began almost immediately. her pictures. I could not look at them. Hid them away. I must be extreme because almost anything sets me off. Like a horrible nightmare. A flower. She loved flowers and plants and had big beautiful tropical plants at the farm. When she was too sick to get up, she asked me to be sure and water them every day. This took an hour for me to do, but id check on her. I had a baby monitor by her so I could hear her call me, which she did, to help her to the bathroom, warm her blankets, empty her urine bags or to tell me she was scared and needed a hug. 53 years together and we seen and done a lot, so there are innumerable triggers. Anything... certain foods, stores, moon, clouds, rain, today a bag of potting soil set me off. She was constantly buying potting soil for her plants. It is silly but that is a huge trigger. anything. birds, dragonflies, hummingbirds.. well you name it. These triggers sets off the grief spasms and I just start crying right there. Today it was home depot and the potting soil. Right there in the store I just broke down and sat on the floor and bawled my eyes out. The store employee helped me go outside. So many triggers, even this forum sets me to crying. I guess its hard for folks to understand the pain i have. Even our children didn't cry beyond a day or two. I guess I have "complicated grief" or something. I miss her so much it tears my heart to shreds. She was taken from me at what was supposed to be our golden years. its not fair that I be left alone on the planet still healthy. I suppose I am doomed to suffer these triggers all my days unless I finally cant take it anymore. I really don't have anything to live for now. I am hurting too much.

I can fully understand. 2 months ago I lost my wife of 53 years. Our whole adult life, really. We did almost everything together. There were bumps along the way, she was flirty and even had an affair, but I loved her so much I let it go. She passed in my arms and, with 53 years of memories almost everything I see now reminds me of her. flowers, groceries, movies, markets, foods everything, and it sets me off to crying, even sobbing in a store, a cafe, even in the middle of the sidewalk if I see a flower she liked... I loved her very much and I miss her terribly. This cannot be real. I imagine she is waiting for me back at our home. But she is not coming back, is she? she is gone. If anyone can tell me how to ease this terrible thing please let me know. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up before I do something foolish.

My wife of 53 years passed 2 1/2 months ago. Cancer. Died in extreme pain and I held her when she passed. I loved her with all my heart and I will never get over her passing. We have 2 children and my daughter took me in because we lost all our assets as my wife paid half and we on the edge every month. I'm glad my daughter took me in because I didn't want to live anymore. I have cried every day. Mery was no angel at times, but it didnt matter. I think she may have been bipolar so I let her indescretions go. besides I loved her so much I would forgive anything rather than lose her. She strongly hinted she had an long affair when we were in college, which I thought the man was just using her as a sex toy and playmate. When he graduated he just simply dropped her and went back to his country. I wish now that we had talked about it and brought closure. Then when I was going to fly back to my daughter her brother was taking me to the airport he told me Mery was fooling around with the handyman. Can you believe he said that to me. .but that jerk worked on my head, and yes they did go out to local flower seminars and garden seminars and hardware stores and such, and she told me where they were going, but he was making himself way too comfortable in my house, so I ask her to fire him off the place, which she reluctantly did, as he was a good worker. But she didnt shed any tears over it either. But her brother didnt like me and he liked the handyman so he may have been trying to upset me at the last minute. Well he did a good job, as her long ago affair came back to haunt me, and as for the handyman Ill never know. as she was bipolar and it was possible. Im not sure what im trying to say here, I guess if anyone has had any playmates they should bring it in the open with your spouse. Talk it over and bring closure. If you really love each other it will work out, not let your spouse hear it from someone after you die.