huntersb

Had a bad day yesterday and agin today, the tears keep flowing. I cant even stop long enough to go to the store. I feel as if I have regressed. I had a memory flash of my husband and I during a family reunion he was driving and we were going to a flea market, laughing and having a good time.. I guess I realized that it will never happen again and threw me off in a crying spree. I had texted a friend to chat with last night and of course the only response was I am so sorry. I though they were a friend anyway. I would have called but it so hard to talk on the phone, I think it would be easier to talk in person, maybe that human interaction would help I really miss it. I cant help it I feel abandoned not only by my husband who passed but by everyone. My son does call to check in on me and I know he lives 2000 miles away, but I still feel abandoned. I just need a big hug and to feel someone’s arms around me telling me I will be ok. Like my husband did. He was a great hugger. I know what you mean by the saying we part, I signed a Thank you card with both of our names.

Thank you for the response and the advice. So sorry to hear about your operation, happy to hear a neighbor is helping. I know what you mean about how difficult it is to ask others to help. I am the kind of person who has always helped other when I saw the need, No one has ever had to ask. I just do it. So its difficult for me to understand why no one helps me. I really don’t like living alone, I feel that if I did have friends/ Family around it would help. Getting back to work is somewhat helping while I am there but once I come home I am sad. Again thank you for your response,

My husband has recently passed in May from liver cancer, his family brother and sister were there to help with his 24 hour care taking turns every 5 days the last 2 months. I am very grateful, i would not have been able to do it by myself . However the day after his passing they left early in the morning ( they each live about hour away). They said that they would be there to help me with anything i needed. ( i really dont like when people say things they dont mean) His brother did come up for 5 hours to help me cut, split and stack fire wood along with a few other family members one day. . they only manged to get a very small amount done, it seemed more of a party for them. Other then the cards from a few of his family members, I havent heard from anyone. I have called a few of them, but the conversion normally goes like.. It must be tough being alone, arent you scared to be home alone? when so and so passed i at least had family stopping by often to help me thru the first year. You must be really lonely. If you need anything let me know, so i do and its one excuse after another of why they cant help. I do have my son who i talk to to on the phone everyday ( most of the time it helps, but sometimes it makes it worse) he lives on the other side of the country. With covid he can not travel, my grandson is only 3, and i would not want him to get on an airplane at this time. I am very lonely and i am trying my best to take care of things , cutting the grass, making arrangements for a new roof, i cant cut the wood i do have the neighbors son who will come and cut some every few weeks. i try to operate the splitter when he is there in case i get hurt someone will be around. I dont understand why people are so mean, how come no one checks to see if i am ok? I was very close to our friends and family. I am scared to death to think about what the holidays will do to me. Do people no longer care.. I feel like they are saying, it sucks to be you. I do work 3rd shift, but when i wake up in the afternoon is when it hits me, that i am so alone just like they tell me.