I lost my wife a month ago very suddenly and without any warning at age 37. Cardio arrhythmia, they could not tell me what caused it though. We did not have many friends and spent all our time together, always telling each other that it is only us against the world. We can face anything together, even if we lost everything…we will have each other. We always told that to each other to feel better when we went through difficult times. Now I have lost her, with whom can I go against the world now?
My wife had a gastric bypass surgery in 2018 and her parents now believe I caused my wife’s death, as they feel that I did not make sure that she had a healthy enough lifestyle since then, even though she was almost at her goal weight and the cause of the Cardio Arrhythmia could not be determined. I was awfully close with them and was shocked when they told me that they do no want to have any further communication with me since about 3 weeks ago. My family lives far away and I have been alone at my house for most of the time since then.
I have read about the 5 stages of grief, and I have been jumping between the first 3 stages every single day, I cannot sleep, and I feel tired and useless most of the time. I used to feel better in the mornings, but in the last week I started dreading the mornings just as much as I dreaded the evenings. I see flashes of her face in my head throughout the day, and everything reminds me of her. Sometimes when it is bad, I see her lifeless body in my arms the night when I found her on the ground, stuck in my head – playing over and over. I heard stories of other people, telling me that it is going to be a long, difficult journey forward…it might take years to get better. I cannot imagine going through this intense pain for years to come.
