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Kay B

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About Kay B

  • Rank
    Member

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    CA
  • Date of Death
    June 29 2020 at 8:22pm
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Dallas TX

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  1. Hi Lexilou, sorry I haven't chatted with you in awhile. How are you managing? Remind me again when your loss was? Think it was June not too far from when I lost Mama. Oh Lexi I'm grieving and missing her so badly. I'm still crying every day. Between this forum, a twice a month online grief meeting, talking with the food bank's chaplain once a week, and seeing a therapist once every 2 weeks, you would think I would be doing better than I am. It's all a complicated situation because not only am I dealing with losing her but I've got alot of unresolved emotional baggage and a good number of spiri
  2. Hi kayc, it's been awhile since I talked with you. I loved seeing pictures of Arlie. I want to post pics of Mama but can't figure out how. I'm on my android cell phone, don't have a working computer. I'm still deep in the throes of grief. I've been talking avidly with DebbieGD, don't know if you have the ability to see posts made to others. I've been pretty incapacitated since Mama's passing end of June. I have, and continue to seek out help and support with her loss. I made many calls to places that offer grief support,but due to covid they are not meeting. I searched the internet and found t
  3. Oh all these stories touch a place in me. I know with loosing Ellie when you dozed off is terribly hard to live with. My angel passed away in my arms. It was so difficult as her breathing slowed,then before the last breath she uttered some kind of sound. I pray this was not her conveying pain! I took her to be cremated on July 3 and received her ashes back July 10. Does that help any? I don't know. I yearn for her so badly. I go to her box with her ashes, put my hands around it, and talk, cry, shout out, scream. I thought having her returned would offer comfort and maybe on some level that I c
  4. Hi kayc, Boy, it's amazing we not only are close in age but in the loss of our precious babies. You say Arlie was the hardest, I thought Boskey was the hardest until I lost mama. Boskey was my soul mate, a very special bond like you had with Arlie. My entire world collapsed when I lost her and I never thought the loss of any subsequent dogs after her would be as hard as it was loosing her. But then came mama. I totally believe that when an animal comes into your life,you will know without a doubt if the match is right. I can't explain it, it's just a feeling you can't ignore. When I went
  5. Hi kayc, I can only imagine how difficult it must be to have lost your husband to death. Loosing mine was so incredibly hard and he now has another wife and life. When we were married there was a stray I took in originally attempting to find her owner, then meeting up with the pair of guys traveling from Utah to Texas had hit her on the road. Not wanting to leave her there they brought her to Texas. During the trip she revived from the accident unharmed. They couldn't keep her but found a lady to take her and while with her, she escaped from her yard. Never was able to find the lady so I
  6. Hello kayc, You are lucky to have sympathy cards to display, I only have 2. One from the vet clinic that coordinated her cremation, and one from the food bank I go to. The food bank organization has tried to help every way they can. Because of covid all contact has resulted in telephone only communications. One lady I've never met offered her support, but it seemed her words well meaning as they were, kept making me cry more and more. I eventually had to cease chatting with her. At the end her attempts with spiritual support only deepened my confusion and bred anger within me I now see. A
  7. Hello Lexilou, Oh my 49 you are a young on! I'm 66 next month. I want desperately to believe in an afterlife. That would at least give me a bit of "hope" of which I have absolutely zero right now. I also like you, call out her name, almost as if she will hear and come jump into my arms, chair, or bed! Then the silence reminds me of the horrible reality and the sobbing just never stops. I know everyone says it just takes time and it's very individual, but what is the definition or unit of measure of "time"? The human psyche at least for myself doesn't deal with pain very well, at least tha
  8. There seem to be so many components to grief. In my past reading I've read there are 5 stages to it. You can move back and forth between them and how long you stay in each varies from person to person. No matter how much I read about psychology and the human mind, it fails me in dealing with my own grief. I can't seem to escape the guilt feelings from loosing my precious angel,whose nickname was Mama. I refused to take the opinion of several vets to have her put to sleep and having made the decision to keep her here makes me second guess if I caused her to suffer. If it did I have to live with
  9. Hello Lexilou, Thank you so much for your reply. I have been away from this group cause of my pain, and I'm crying as I write this. I'm desperately looking for one on one in person therapy. Please don't think I am disregarding this group cause I'm definitely not! I am trying to use every resource possible. This pain inside has absolutely crippled me. I manage to distract myself during the day with daily stuff but when the day winds down and I crawl into bed, thoughts of my precious engulf me and the tears come nonstop. In my head the words "if I could just have1 more chance to hold her an
  10. I just lost my Chihuahua of 10 years a week ago. She passed away in my arms. The pain is worse than being sliced open with a knife! I cry for hours at a time often hysterically. I'm ridden with immense guilt. I'm grasping at straws here desperate for answers! I feel like I'm going insane. I have no desire to go on. 😭
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