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Rita

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Everything posted by Rita

  1. Thanks so much for telling that. It really really helps. I am so not used to being a bitter person. I was quite content with my life and happy. This jealousy and bitterness are new. Knowing that this is normal is a big relief!
  2. I am so sorry for your loss @kayc The world needs more empathetic people. More people who genuinely care. You are right. These tough times are showing the true color of people and their true nature. I am distancing myself from some people whom I thought were close to me. On the positive side, I have been getting help and support from many unexpected people. In your experience, over time does the feeling of jealousy reduce?
  3. @kayc Thanks so much for such an insightful response. There are people who are hurting me so much by saying things that are very very hurtful. If they put the effort of thinking for 30 secs they would realize how hurtful their words can be. I hope I find it in me to forgive them. Then there are people who are not doing anything to hurt me. They are just living their happy lives. I am jealous of that happiness. I find it it soo frustrating that they are going on with their life without knowing what gut wrenching feeling grief can be. The jealous and bitter monster inside me wants everyone to feel the pain I am feeling. I know its irrational. But I am jealous of everyone's happiness. Why do some people have it easy in life? What did they do to deserve a life where they dont have to face this gut wrenching pain at any point in their life? Why did it have to be my son who died?
  4. I am a mother who lost a 20 days old infant too. It was about 6 months back. Like Ann mentioned, I feel the bitterness eating my insides. I get so angry at the unfairness. At everyone else being happy. I have become so bitter and sometimes think "I wish something bad happened to them so they would know what it is to grieve". I hate myself for thinking like this. I was not like this before. And I get ashamed and frustrated .. anyone has any advice. Am I a horrible person?
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