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Boon

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  1. Hi all, My Shih Tzu , Cupid, was 15 year old , who passed away 3 days ago. He was my first dog, he was so gentle and obedient . I really loved him and treated him like my son. For the last 1 to 2 years, I noticed that he had been slowing down. He used to like going for a walk, but now only did it for his potty. Then he started having cramps , sometimes from his sleep or sometimes he just flopped down to the floor. It happened like once every 2 months. For the first time it happened , I had asked our vet what happened to him, the vet just said to monitor further , if it gets more often then bring him in. He never told me it’s was probably seizure, even though I had describe my dog’s symptoms. So as days gone by, Cupid had very little such attacks. Maybe once every 2 months and every time, he recovered very quickly , like within a min while I was soothing and stroking him. And then he would become normal and cheerful as always. So all these times, I was only thinking Cupid was getting older and sometimes having a bit of cramps. It never occurred to me again to bring him for more check up. Then, last Sunday night, he had this seizure again. And this time, it won’t stop. I knew he was suffering . I immediately sent him to a 24 hr vet clinic. After the diagnosis, I learned that it was seizure, for the first time. The vet gave Cupid medicine and the seizure stopped . But he had to be hospitalised for 24 hr for observation. The next day , the vet said Cupid has no more seizure and can return home to rest and observed. But he was very weak and could not stand. He even do not want to eat nor drink. The vet told me I need to use syringes to feed him food and meds if he still do not want to eat by his own. Until this point, it never crossed my mind that Cupid could be dying. Next morning , I was cleaning his urine and Diarrhea, Cupid was awake. Eyes brighter than before , looking at me while I was cleaning him. I thought he was feeling better. I could not bear to leave him for work even though I have a helper at home. But work is work, I cannot cancel the work meeting. I told myself I will finish the meeting and then took a half day off and come home to stay with him. As I was on my way home, my family phoned me that he had passed, about 1 hr ago before I can reach him. i do not know how to describe my feeling when I heard that. When I reached home and saw his dying body, something inside me died too. I cannot believe this 36 hours, since he had seizure and then now passed away. It happened so fast. I keep blaming myself for not staying and keeping him company for his last moments . At least I could hug and soothe him to make him feel less lonely or scare. At least I could say I love him for the last time. Now I even started blaming myself for not spending more times with him. I cried so much this few days, I cannot stop crying , whenever I think of him, my tears will start rolling down.
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