Hi all,
I lost my beloved calico on Mon evening and I am devastated. I know folks here will truly appreciate the shock, immense grief, sadness, and loneliness that comes from losing a furry baby. Savannah J was my child and my chosen family as I don't have a child or significant other. Her absence is so, so painful. She picked me 13 years ago from a shelter and it truly seemed like the universe brought us together.
13 years of habits & cohabitation are gone. She will no longer share a pillow with me, meow and head-butt me to in a genuine effort to help me wake up each morning, she'll no long chat away like only a calico does, and she's no longer here to love on and take care of. My heart is broken.
She was diagnosed 1 year ago with stage 1 kidney disease and I thought management of it was going well with special food, meds, and periodic blood work. Sadly, this was not the case.
I was gone all last week to pack up my apt back home as I'm temporarily staying with family in another state due to COVID. My family cared for her that week and they reported she ate, used the potty, and took her meds daily. However, when I returned back on Sat afternoon, I thought she looked off. Her eyes looked tired and she just looked old. I told myself that I was overreacting and she was her normal sassy self. However, as the weekend passed she ate less and by Monday, I was quite concerned. She had begun almost swaying as her back legs seemed weak and she drank more water than she ate.
I took her into an emergency vet Mon around 5:30pm and it was an awful experience. I was there 4.5-5 hours. The first 2.5-3 of which she was alone as I was not allowed in due to COVID restrictions. Only after I sobbed on the phone w/ staff as the discussion of euthanasia came up was I allowed in. The staff had poor bedside manner which made an already traumatizing experience worse. After speaking w/ vet & reviewing the blood panel results & how she presented, spending time alone with my girl, and asking for guidance, I ultimately decided to have her put down. She was 15 years old and it seemed the humane decision to make to prevent any suffering or pain. My girl screamed from the back of the clinic while they tried to get a catheter into her for what seemed like an ungodly amount of time and I sat alone in the room crying, feeling incredibly guilty and scared. I wished I was back home at our normal vet whom I trust 100% and has treated her for years. Ultimately, I had my arms wrapped around her while she left this earth which I'm eternally grateful for.
I am gutted. My child is gone and while I am getting through the days, the pain is so intense. Without my soul kitty the world seem so lonely and harsh without her.
Thank you for listening and understanding. Wishing everyone peace and blessings.
Erin
