My boyfriend and I became long distance about 6 weeks ago. About a week and a half ago his father died unexpectedly and he returned home to bury his father. Since then he has distanced himself from his mom, friends and myself. He let me know at the beginning of our relationship he shut everybody out when his best friend died. I told him that would be hard for me. He has been here for a week and a half and the first day he was here he did not communicate with me at all. I decided to pick up food and bring it to his grandparents home where he would be staying. He was appreciative but a little distant, understandably so. The next day he communicated a bit with me and the follow day he communicated a bit more. He invited me over the next day and I spent the day there. 2 days later he had the funeral which we discussed and agreed was not the best time for me to meet his daughter (14 living where he moved) so I did not go. I did not hear from him till late that day and I understand he was busy. He has reached out every day briefly via text and last night told me he was sorry for distancing himself from me. I feel sick to my stomach to be pushed away as we had the best communication prior to this, but know not to take it personally. I don’t know how long I should expect (and allow) this atypical distance he has placed between us. I do know now is not the time to mention this, but at what point is this behavior something I should consider unfair to me. He told me last night when he said he was sorry that he was going to go back to his new home early and will now be missing the plans we have had for 2 months for Labor Day. I’m so disappointed, but am trying to be considerate and understanding of his needs so I’m not expressing my emotions. With this I need help managing my feelings in this and understanding what to expect as he keeps me at this distance. I feel like I’m grieving the loss of our relationship which felt like that started when he moved, and now 10x more so because of his loss and the way he manages that. And missing the weekend with him that I needed after our time apart is making me so sad. I need help understanding and managing all of this.
