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JodiandGrandma

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Granddaughter
  • Date of Death
    NA
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

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  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Lauderhill

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  1. Only child, both parents deceased (bio at 41, mom at 54) no significant other, no children, grandparents and mom raised me. Alzheimer's with grandfather (Poppy) for over ten years. Passed 5 years ago. Grandmother (Nanny) dementia almost two years now. In 2005, gave up everything to move to another part of the state (FL) to live with and help Nan with Pop. No regrets. Moved Nan back home when Pop passed. Poppy was a gentle man. The Alzheimer's did not change him. Nan wore the pants in the family. I grew up with a strong, independent, and kind role model. Now, she can be cruel, vindictive, obstinate, often infantile and depressed, but once in awhile I get parts of her shinning through. I have zero help from her only living son, lives in CT, who has been a union electrician for over 45 years. His idea of help for his parents was to let Nan know if she died before Pop, Pop would be brought to CT and put in a home regardless of Nan's wishes. We changed POA the same week from Uncle to me. Now with Nan, same situation, only her dementia came on so suddenly that Uncle still has control over her medically and financially. My grandmother gets pittance in social security, so no trouble there. I pay for everything on a teacher's salary. Nan paid for everything when I was a kid. I worry Uncle may try to take Nan from me if she gets worse. She hides it from him, mostly, on the phone. He never visits, so we are safe so far. Nans had three minor strokes. The doctor thinks she may have had more, but we can't have exrays because of her pacemaker. After first stroke, Uncle said to put her in a home and get on with my life. Not surprisingly, because he told me I was a fool to give up my life to help my grandmother with Pop. Yet, when Nan saves over $500 in her account, which takes months, she has me write a check to her son for $500. Uncle makes in the high six figures, Aunt has a thriving small business, and they have several rental properties. Uncle has never sent a dime to help Nan with Pop, or Me with Nan. He can keep his money, as long as I can keep my grandmother. I have no support system, no friends (who has time?), and no downtime. I haven't been to a doctor, walk in clinics when I'm sick, in almost 15 years. Between working, caring for Poppy, then Nanny, there was never enough time for myself. Wow, I just read this over, I sound like a whining B. I have never told anyone all this in one mouthful before, and I've left out so much. My original goal was to say how much I miss and mourn my grandmother, even though she lives with me. Have I finally gone down the rabbit hole. Thank you to whoever had the time and/or patience to read this soliloquy.
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