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About CommanderCody

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
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  1. If it makes you feel any better, I practically did the same thing to my past relationship. When I couldn't hold on to my feelings anymore, I talked to her and told her that I don't feel important anymore to her and I showed a tear while saying that (I told her this personally). Later that day she asked me if we could talk on video call which we did and we discussed our relationship that led to our break up. The following morning we worked out the relationship and I agreed to her terms of " No label, no promises" she set those terms because she feels like if she promises then breaks it in the e
  2. Hey man, it's alright I know how this must be so hard for you to move on - but hey, look at it this way, both of us, this was our first time handling a real relationship but sadly there was grief involved. You can't blame ourselves for not knowing what's the right thing to do or say in this situation because it's a new experience to us! Trust me when I say that I've blamed myself countless times in the past because how much I screwed up. If I haven't only shown my emotions, drop a tear in front of her, maybe this wouldn't happen - but that's not the case. I've replayed memories in my head a t
  3. Thank you for your insight, Baxter. I agree with one thing on you and Kay C have stated: Relying too much on the universe could be an excuse for people to don't care anything at all because it is " written " I do agree it should be balanced. But I somehow believe that the universe has already a plan and we should still be wise in our actions because how we treat other people and how we interact with the world, really depends on us.
  4. One of the thoughts that keep me sane right now is thinking that I have served my purpose in her life and since we're not talking anymore, it's pretty clear that I don't have anything else to serve or fulfill my duty to her life and vice versa. In your own opinion, if I hadn't let go after we havent talked for 9 days, what would I or we be now?
  5. Hi, I just want to tell something. I've been watching a lot of videos on YouTube about " How to accept what it is and let go " type of content and somehow they keep referring that everything that has transpired is already written by the universe. That there are no mistakes, there are no accidents, that all of the mistakes I've done in my past relationship was bound to happen because it was written that it's going to be that way. And also that there are no coincidences; it was not a coincidence that I found this site and that I got to be able to talk to you guys about my situation. That y
  6. Im sorry to hear that you're having a hard time moving on as time progress. I know its not easy in this phase, given that each day passes without knowing anything about her at the moment is really a difficult thought to think about. I have been in that phase and I know how hard fighting our anxiety is. It really sucks thinking those thoughts. Even I had to control my anxiety when I thought of what if she has been talking to other guys or what if she had sex with somebody. But I know that those thoughts wont help me at all and I had a discussion with myself saying that anything that she does be
  7. I see your point. I just don't see at the moment how that would help me right now but thanks though. I guess the only way to get over this is to go through it, embracing the pain again.
  8. I'll try to meditate this later in the day. Thanks for the tip about writing tho. I just felt this emotion running through my head whenever she would drop by my thoughts and that triggered me somehow. Maybe it's because I'm disappointed on how we turned out to be. I really hate it when I get to think of the intimate moments we both shared like I can't avoid not thinking them even though I'm trying my best to divert my attention to that. There's this bump in my chest whenever I would think of those intimacy, the worst thing is that those memories are still vivid in my mind that's why it
  9. Earlier today at 7:15 am, I was eating my breakfast while watching some videos on youtube but then again my thoughts of alek have been filling up my mind in the morning. I then decided to transfer eating at the living room but as soon as I reached the tv remote I accidentally spilled this water on the table and I grumpily asked " why is that placed there? " then my sister answered back in a high tone voice and I just got angry all of a sudden. After the argument I went back to eating but my chest feels heavy, it feels like I was angry because of the thoughts of Alek keep coming back to me and
  10. Funny to think about, 2 months ago when I was just starting this forum, if you had said that then I would probably deny your answer and try to squeeze my way into a different answer -- something I would want to hear. Right now, I have just accepted that this is who they really are when times get tough; That my ex is really a good person but I just got to see the real her, the one what no one has seen yet until grief has consumed her. A big part of me has already accepted that maybe she's just really a lesson I need to learn, that she's a part of my journey but she's not the one who I'll be wal
  11. Hang in there brother. I'm proud of the progress you have done. We will get through this together!
  12. I feel your pain on that story you have shared. However there's really nothing we can do to bring those back, or bring them back. They are who they are now. We know who they are now. Maybe who they are now isn't what we are being destined to be with, it's not that we can't handle them, maybe its just that things won't go well along the way. I used to think that we really were robbed of a lifetime of happiness but sometimes I like to think it as were were saved from a lifetime of constant pain emotionally. And I don't want to think that this was our loss, no. Sooner or later when they got their
  13. Yeah, exactly. I'm happy to hear that this is only a natural reaction about missing the intimacy. I guess this is one of the hardest part to accept, knowing we'll never be able to hold them up close in our arms again.
  14. Thanks for the kind words. You're absolutely right. If I'm going to be honest, the things that haunts me now are the ones where we had been really intimate with each other and it just randomly pops up into my head. I just missed being held close like that.
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